


I Choose You

by Phandiction



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Orphanage, Best Friends, Eventual Smut, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Not really angst i dont think, shower fluff, smol dan, smol phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-15 12:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9235487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandiction/pseuds/Phandiction
Summary: Phil's parents have decided to adopt and Phil's thrilled to finally have a brother. When he meets Dan they hit it off but little did he know his parents had decided to bring home a little girl instead. Phil spends the next nine years visiting Dan at the orphanage. One day Dan unexpectedly goes outside the lines of friendship and Phil isn't sure if he's ready for that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Phil Age 8**

Phil was bounding around the house with endless joy and energy. His ginger hair was a mess due to all the leaping and his mom was telling him to calm down. She said it while laughing though so he didn’t take her very seriously. He had been waiting for this day forever! It was better than wen his parents got him a dog or even hamster. He could only do so much with a hamster and even the dog would get bored of him after a while. Today though he was getting baby brother! A playmate he could have for the rest of his life and they would be best friends and everyone at school would be jealous because his new baby brother would be _so_ cool!

                He grabbed his father’s hand and used it to spin around on the hard wood floor in his socks like a ballerina. “I’m getting a baby brother today! A baby brother! A BABY BROTHER!” He yelled joyously at the ceiling. His father laughed and ruffled his hair.

                “Yes you are. No get your shoes on so we can go find that new brother of yours.”

                Phil bolted up the stairs of his Manchester house to his room to find his shoes.

 

They were driving all the way to London for his brother who was apparently at an orphanage there. They arrived at a huge brick mansion with white shutters.

                “These kids get to live in a mansion?!” Phil said, his mouth hanging open at the site of the large building.

                His mother laughed. “Not how you might think. There are a lot of kids all sharing that same house. They all share rooms too. It’s a very difficult way to live.”

                “Oh.” Phil said sadly. He tried to imagine sharing his room and scrunched his nose. No, he would not like that at all. Then the thought fled him and he bounded across the lawn to the front door. He looked back impatiently for his parents who were walking and whispering to one another. “Come _on_!”

                He didn’t know what to expect when he opened the large doors but it certainly wasn’t a woman sitting at a desk in a dress, her hair in a tight bun. She had barely had a chance to glance down at Phil before he slammed his hands on the table. “I’m here to pick up my baby brother!”

                She smiled at him. “Oh really? Do you know what his name is?”

                “Hello.” Phil’s parents spoke up behind him. “No we do not have a name as we have not chosen anyone yet. That’s what our appointment is for today.”

                The adults talked and signed papers and did lots of boring stuff so Phil decided to check out the frosted glass door far to the left of the entry way where laughter and screams seem to come from. He reached up to twist the knob.

                “Phillip!” He immediately retracted his hand and ducked his head. “What do you think you’re doing?” His mother scolded.

                “It’s okay, the boys are in that room right now. He’s welcome to play with them.” The desk lady said.

                “Can I? Can I _please_?” Phil begged.

                “I think that’d be okay. Just don’t go far.” His father said.

                “Yes!”

                He excitedly opened the door and ran in. The room was really loud now that he was on the other side of the door. He stopped and swung his head around trying to see everything at once. There were kids everywhere! All were boys. The room was empty of furniture but there were varies toys and blankets on the floor. Some of the kids were wrestling, some of the really young ones were crying and clutching stuffed animals, others were playing with a toy by themselves or in a group.

No one paid any attention to him.  He suddenly felt very shy and thought about turning back when he saw a boy sitting on a small bean bag I the corner, legs crossed, and holding a stuffed Pikachu. He smiled and ran over to him. When he stopped suddenly in front of the bean bag the boy jumped.

“Hi!” Phil said to him. The boy stared back fearfully. His eyes were big and brown and puppy dog like. His dark brown hair was longer than Phil had ever had his own hair. It was curly and hung in his face. “That’s a Pikachu.” Phil pointed at the plushie in his hand. The other boy held the toy closer as if Phil was going to take it from him. “I love Pokémon! What’s your favorite Pokémon?” The boy still didn’t respond. Phil huffed and sat down on the floor cross legged like him. “Is it Pikachu?” He asked.            

“W-what?”

                Phil smiled triumphantly. “Is Pikachu your favorite Pokemon? I figured it was since you have that.” He pointed again and the boy held the plushie out a little farther from his body as if he didn’t remember how it got there. “What’s your name? My name is Phil, short for Phillip but my mom only calls me that when I’m in trouble.” He laughed at himself. “I think it makes me sound like a king though.” He puffed out his chest and cheeks proudly. “Sometimes I pretend that I’m a king. Or if my _dad_ is playing he’s the king and _I’m_ prince.”

                “I’m Daniel.” The boy still looked confused but at least he was speaking.

                “Daniel! That’s a kings name too! King Daniel. It sounds good doesn’t it?”

                Daniel seemed to think about it for a moment and nodded.

                “But you aren’t a king so I’m just going to call you Dan. Besides if everyone calls you Daniel how do you know when you’re in trouble?” Phil laughed again.

                “Dan?” Daniel tested the name out on his tongue. “Yeah, Dan.” He smiled.

                “Do you have any other toys?” Phil asked. Dan shook his head. “Darn. We can’t both play with that toy.”

                “You want to play with me?” Dan sounded so hopeful.

                “Of course! You’re my new baby brother. That’s why my parents are here, to find me a brother!”

                “Really?” Dan was starting to relax a little more.

                “Yup. We are going to best friends and play all the time. I have a dog too, but he’s kind of lazy. My hamster doesn’t do much either.” Phil babbled.

                “You have a hamster?” Dan’s eyes widened in amazement.

                “Yup. He’s fat.”

                Dan giggled. “There are some toys over there we can pay with.” He pointed to another part of the room.

                “Okay let’s go!”

 

The Lester’s really had intended to come here and adopt a boy. They thought it would be great for Phil to have a brother. However, as they were filling out paperwork a nurse crossed the waiting room with a little girl. The girl had scraggily blond hair and was holding tightly to the woman. Katherine had immediately fell in love with the girl.

                “Excuse me.” She called after the woman. “Who is that little girl?”

                The nurse was more than happy to answer all their questions. “This is Sarah. She’s got a pretty bad cold right now and quite shy. She hasn’t been here long. She is five years old and was dropped off here by her aunt. That’s all we really know about her.”

                “Can I talk to her?” Katherine asked.

                That was all it took. Katherine and her husband bonded quickly with Sarah and the people at the orphanage were to see that maybe this little girl wouldn’t have to spend long here before finding a home. Before signing the papers the couple went to find their son and tell him the good news. They hoped he wouldn’t be too disappointed that it was a little sister instead of a brother.

                They spotted him in the boy’s room on the floor with another boy playing with some stuffed animals. They looked at each other nervously when they saw the two laughing. They carefully made their way through the sea of children to their son and knelt on their knees.

                “Hey Phil. Who’s this?” His mother asked, smiling at the baby faced child he was playing with.

                “Mom! Dad! This is Dan. He’s seven years old. Only a year younger than me! It’s like we’re twins. He loves Pokémon too. I pick him as my brother. He’s going to be my best friend.”

                Katherine saw a proud smile on the boy, Dan’s face. It ripped at her heart. “Phil…we have something to tell you, can you come with us?”

                “I’ll be back Dan.” He told the boy.

                Phil was lead back to the waiting room where his parents had to practically force him to sit down. “Phil please we have something to tell you can you hold still?”

                He sensed their seriousness and his smile disappeared. He tilted his head. “What?”

                Katherine looked at her husband sadly. “We know that you really like Dan but we found someone we think you’ll enjoy just as much. Her name is Sarah and she’s five years old. She’ll be coming home with us in a couple of weeks.” She smiled brightly.

                “You have a little sister Phil.” His father said happily.

                Phil did not smile. “But…I wanted a brother. Dan. I want Dan. Not Sarah or anyone else.” Tears pricked at his eyes.

                “I’m sorry honey.”

                “You didn’t even talk to him! You didn’t ask me or even come and see the other boys!” Phil felt the tears trickling down his face. He stood and ran to the frosted door again, yanking it open and running across the floor back to Dan. He collapsed beside the boy and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Dan stopped playing when Phil hugged him. He slowly lifted his arms to hug the other boy back.

                “Oh Dan.” Phil sobbed in his shoulder. “My parents are getting a _girl_. They won’t even think about it. Her name is Sarah and I don’t want to have a little sister!”

                Dan had never really thought about the possibility of being adopted. He had been at this place for as long as he could remember and when Phil had come and been so nice and told him he was his best friend and that he was going home with him Dan had felt this enormous happiness in his chest. Now that it wasn’t going to happen he felt more empty than he had before when he knew he was never going to be adopted.

                “It’s okay.” He patted Phil’s back comfortingly. Phil pulled back, wiping at his face and nose.

                “No it’s not. I hate them.”

                Just then he heard his name being called from above. “Phil, we need to go. I really am sorry but we’ve signed the papers and I think it was a good decision.” His mother said kindly.

                Phil refused to look at his parents. Instead he stood up. Dan followed. He hugged Dan again desperately. “Your still my best friend.”

               

Phil didn’t talk to his parents for days. He felt as though his whole life had been ripped to pieces. He didn’t care about anything. All he could think about was how mad he was at his mom and dad.

                It got to the point that Katherine and Greg started to worry about their son. They tried buying him a new stuffed bear, making his favorite dinner, and asking if he wanted to help decorate Sarah’s room. He did seem to love his new stuffed bear. He carried it around with him, ate and slept with it. The only place he didn’t take it was school.

                “Greg we have to do something.” Katherine said one night.

                “I know.” He sighed. “I don’t know what though. We can’t very well adopt both.”

                The next morning at breakfast while Phil was staring blankly at his plate of blueberry pancakes his father spoke up.

                “You know Phil, you’ll be able to see Dan next week.”

                Phil looked up at them curiously. “Really?”

                His parents smiled, glad to see some life back in him. “Yup. We were also thinking that if you want, we can drop you off sometimes to play with Dan for a while, that is if it’s okay with the orphanage.”

                He stood abruptly from his chair, dropping the bear that had been sitting on his lap. “Are you serious?! Thank you thank you! I love you!” He ran around the table and hugged both his parents as tightly as he could before returning to his plate and shoving the pancakes into his mouth. “I can’t wait.” He squealed happily.

 

Phil kept his hand on the seat buckle ready to release it the second the car came to a stop on the side of the street near the orphanage. When it did he grabbed his bear and bolted from the car.

                “Phil!” His mother called after him as he ran towards the door but Greg put a hand on his wife’s hand.

                “Let him go. There will be plenty of time for him to meet Sarah.”

                She sighed, still feeling a little sick at their son’s response to the adoption choice. “I guess.”

                The same lady as last time was sitting at the desk when Phil skipped into the waiting room.

                “Well hello there Phil. I remember you.”

                “I’m here to see Dan.” He said.

                “Dan?” The lady looked confused.

                “Well his real name is Daniel but I call him Dan because you should only be called by your full name if you’re in trouble.” Phil explained.

                “Oh really?” The lady raised an eyebrow.

                “What is _your_ name?”

                She couldn’t help but giggle at this young boy’s outgoingness. “My name is Rose.”

                The front door opened and Katherine and Greg walked in. “Sorry about him. He’s a little…eccentric.” Katherine explained.

                Rose laughed. “It’s fine. He said he was here to see Daniel?” She questioned.

                “Yes. He was a seven-year-old boy with big sad eyes and longer brown hair holding a Pikachu plushie.”

“Oh yes. He’s a very sweet boy.”

“You see Phil and Dan got along quite well and we promised he could see him today. We were also wondering if it would be possible to have him come over regularly. But he does have to come meet his new sister first.” She looked at her son pointedly. He furrowed his brows and folded his arms.

Rose thought for a minute. “I think that would be fine. We’ve never had someone volunteer to drop their kids off for a play date but I think it would be good for Dan. I’ll show you to Sarah now.” She directed them around the corner to another door. “She’s finally gotten over this sickness.”

When Phil met Sarah he saw nothing special. She was quiet and sucked on her thumb and stared at the floor. His parents handed her a stuffed elephant they had gotten for her. She took it and tucked it under her arm but never looked up. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were a dull blue. She didn’t even acknowledge Phil’s existence. Even still his parents gawked at her like she was the most precious thing they’d ever seen. This girl wouldn’t play with him. She wouldn’t be his best friend.

When the meet and greets were finally over he asked if he could go now. His parents looked at each as if disappointed and told him he could go find Dan.

Phil didn’t hesitate. He burst back into the entry way and to the frosted glass door he had went through before. His shoulders sagged when the door shut behind him and no one was in the large room. Toys were scattered about but no one playing with them. He saw a lady picking up some of the toys and ran over to her.

“Hey! Hey lady!”

She startled. “Um, yes?” She said surprisingly.

“Where’s Daniel?”

“All of the kids are having lunch.”

“Where?” He pushed. The lady pointed at set of double doors on the other side of the room. “Thanks!” He shouted as he headed towards them.

He smiled when he opened to the doors and saw kids sitting at tables that looked a lot like the ones he ate on at school. Dan _had_ to be here. The room was noisy just like before. Phil ran up and down between the tables looking for his friend. He spotted him on the far end of a table in the back of the room.

“Dan!” He called eagerly and dashed down the row to him. “Dan!” He yelled again when the boy didn’t look at him. Other kids looked up and watched irritably. He reached the boy and tapped his shoulder. Dan spun around, a terrified look on his face. It changed the second he registered who Phil was.

“Phil?” His eyes widen and he smiled.

“Hi! Can I sit here?” Phil asked. Dan nodded and scooted over.

“Where’s Pikachu?” Phil wondered. Dan’s eyes saddened a bit and he shrugged.

“Someone took him.”

“What? Someone just _took_ him? But he was yours!” Phil exclaimed.

Dan shrugged again, taking a bite of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “That just happens here sometimes. The other kids aren’t very nice.”

Phil looked at the other kids around him. He hadn’t talked to any of the other kids so he didn’t know but he trusted Dan. Dan pointedly wordlessly to the bear in his arms.

“Oh! This is Bear. My mom and dad gave it to me because I was really mad about them not adopting you.”               

Dan’s shoulders slacked at the memory. “Yeah. That stunk.”

Phil gasped, making the other boy jump. “Guess what? My parents said I can come over anytime I want to play.” He could barely contain himself in the seat with all his excitement.

“Really?” Dan thought it sounded amazing but did Phil really want to play with him?

“Yeah! Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

“Yeah it would. But It’s kind of boring here.” Dan offered the last bite of his sandwich to his new-found friend.

“We’ll think of something don’t worry.” Phil said with his mouth full. Dan laughed at him. Phil opened his mouth, exposing the half chewed food.

“Ew gross!” Dan turned away giggling.

Phil’s parents watched their interaction from across the room. Greg held Sarah in his arms as she rested on his shoulder. “Greg? You don’t think we’re acting selfishly do you?” Katherine whispered to him.

“Honey no. Don’t let that eat you up. We are doing a fantastic thing here and if I could adopt every one of these kids and give them a good home I would, but we can’t. We made the right decision.”

“I know. Just look at those two though. It’s like they were meant to be best friends.”

 

“Okay Phil it’s time to go.” Greg told his son.

Phil huffed. “Alright. But we’re coming back soon right?”

“Yes, just like we talked about.”

Phil turned back to Dan and they squeezed each other in a hug. “Here, I want you to have this. I’ll come over all the time.” He put the stuffed bear in Dan’s hands. The younger boy looked shocked.

“Are you sure?” No one had ever given him anything. Everything was always taken from him here at the orphanage, usually my older kids.

“Of course! Keep him safe.”

“I-I will. Thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Nine Years Later**

From the time Phil met Dan until he was twelve years old his parents drove him over to the orphanage every week. When he turned thirteen they moved into the city and it became a lot easier to get to the orphanage so he started walking there nearly every day after school. He would always find his friend under a tree in the back lawn of the mansion reading a book or playing on the Nintendo DS Phil had given him years earlier as a Christmas present.

                Nine years now they had been best friends. Phil had been dying his hair black for years and Dan kept his curly, fringe cut hair straightened. Even Phil rarely saw it in its natural form anymore.

He thought about that now as strode towards his friend swinging a grocery bag around and around. Dan looked up from the book and smiled.

“Heya, what you got there?”

Phil reached into the bag and chucked a container of Maltesers in the boys’ direction. Dan gasped excitedly. “No way. You’re the best.” He immediately dug into the chocolate.

“I know.” Phil smirked and sat crossed legged on the grass beside him. “What are you reading?” He picked up the book resting on Dan’s lap.

“Frankenstein.”

“Frankenstein?”

“Yeah, the original by Mary Shelly. It’s incredible actually. Highly relatable.” He moaned as the chocolate melted on his tongue.

“In what way can anyone possibly relate to Frankenstein?” Phil chucked the book into the grass.

“Frankenstein is not the monster you uneducated swine. Frankenstein is the name of the man that created the monster. And I can relate to him because he’s a miserable, self-absorbed, misunderstood, useless, and sad wretch.”

“Wow, okay. Well you are miserable and sad and sometimes self absorbed-”

Dan punched him in the arm and Phil laughed.

“What?! You said it yourself! However, you are not useless and you’re not misunderstood. I understand you.”

“Frankenstein understood his creation too but that didn’t stop the monster from killing his entire family and himself after the only person that could fix his problems died.”

“Geese Dan what’s up with you today?”

Dan put down the chocolate and sighed, leaning back on his elbows. “I broke someone’s nose today.”

“You did what?” Phil’s eyes widened.

“You know Conner?”

“Yeah…he’s that mean guy in your sleeping quarters. Isn’t he almost eighteen and then he’s out?”

“Yup. I plan on partying that day. Anyway yeah, I broke his nose.” Dan said it as if it was no big deal, as if he broke noses all the time. Phil knew though that it took a lot for him to get to the point of hurting someone.

“What happened?”

Dan looked up at him, shaking the fringe from out of his eyes and shrugged, very care free. “He took the bear you gave me when we were kids. He was going to burn it or something.”

“Wait, you still have that?”

Dan hoped Phil didn’t see the blush that crept up his neck. “Of course. It was the first present I ever got. You told me to keep it safe, remember? So when Connor took it and wouldn’t give it back-”

“You broke his nose…Over a teddy bear.” Phil finished in astonishment.

“Hey, it worked and he probably won’t mess with me again. And it wasn’t just a teddy bear.” Dan said matter of fact.

Phil shook his head but grinned. “You’re crazy.”

“That’s because I’m stuck in this prison. Can we go out?”

‘Going out’ meant not only sneaking out but sneaking back _in._ It was always stressful and risky and yet Phil understood why Dan did it. Still, he sighed anxiously and dropped his head onto his friend’s lap. Dan kicked his head up with a knee. “Come on, pretty please?”

Phil could never say no to Dan.

Thirty minutes later they were darting down the street hoping they had gone undetected. They slowed a few blocks away and laughed.

                “Man that’s fun.” Dan smiled, resting his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

                “Oh I’m so happy for you.” Phil joked.

“What? I know you like it. Being _bad_.”

“Wrong. This is so stressful. Now what exactly did you want to do one you were out here?”

Dan thought for a minute. “Mmmm. We haven’t seen a movie in a while. Any good ones out at the cheap theatre?”

“We don’t have to go to the cheap theatre you know. I don’t mind spending money on you.” Phil told his frugal friend. Since Dan had no means of making money Phil had practically bought him every he owned. Dan always hated it.

“I don’t mind the cheap theatre though.”

“Come on, let me treat you to the nice one. We’ll even get a large popcorn.”

“Aww Phil no! You’re going to make me feel so bad!” Dan whined.

“Well then you’re going to feel a heck of a lot worse when you see your birthday present.”

Dan gasped. “That’s right!”

Phil laughed as they hopped down the stairs toward the busy underground. “What did you seriously forget your birthday?”

“It’s not like we celebrate it at the orphanage.”

“I better remind you of how old you’ll be too in that case. Seventeen! Only one more year before you can be out of that place. I can’t wait.” They sat down on the train.

“Wow, one more year. I can’t believe it.” Dan shook his head. “But then what?”

“Then you come live with us.”

“In your little London apartment?” Dan raised an eyebrow.

“Well…you would stay in my room. And besides it wouldn’t be for long. I’m looking for a job.”

“What about uni?”

Phil shrugged. “I don’t know…”

But Dan knew what he was thinking. “Don’t tell me you are not go to uni because of me.”

Phil looked at him wide eyed and little shocked. “How did you-”

“Phil do not put your life on hold for me. I’ll be fine. I don’t care if I am on the streets after I leave that place. I just want out.”

Phil was already shaking his head. “There is no way I’m letting you live on the streets when there’s a perfectly good spot on my floor for you.”

Dan smirked. “You’d make me sleep on the floor?”

“ _No_.” Phil felt himself blush the tinniest bit. This is how their friendship was. Sometimes it seemed like they were flirting and Phil wasn’t sure if Dan was flirting or if he was just being funny. He played along with it. It was fun either way.

“All well. Whatever happens, happens. I don’t have to think about it for another year. Just don’t you dare not go to uni so you can care for your miserable wretch of a friend.”  

 

After the movie, Dan wanted to go to the park. Phil complained that it was getting dark and they should get back but Dan could care less. The closer the kids in the orphanage got to the age they could leave the facility the more reckless they were. They cared about nothing because in just a short time it wouldn’t matter. Dan had always been a little reckless and Phil had always been dragged along with him through his adventures.

                When they got to the park Dan found a bench and sat. Phil joined him.

                “So what are we doing here?” Phil asked and leaned back as Dan was doing to stare at the sky. “If it’s to look at the stars then you’re wasting your time. We are in London if you recall.”

                “I’m not looking at the stars.”

                Phil looked over to see Dan’s eyes closed. He looked so peaceful when he was out of that mansion. How could Phil go to university knowing Dan was still struggling just to get by here? He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He was going to get a job and make lots of money and buy a London flat and they’d both live there happily.

                “What do you want to do after you get out of that place?” Phil asked. His friend’s calm expression turned sour. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked up.

                “I thought we were done discussing this. I don’t know, I don’t care. As long as I can eat and not be a prisoner I’ll be happy. Now stop. Don’t say anything else about it okay? I just want to enjoy this.”

                Dan rarely snapped at him like that and Phil tucked into himself a little. He felt his friend’s eyes still staring at him, probably feeling bad but he would never apologize. It just wasn’t Dan’s way.

                “Can I kiss you?”

                Phil jerked his head up, not quite registering what he had heard. Dan was looking at him intently, searching his face for a reaction. Phil didn’t reply. He didn’t know how to. Was he being serious? Was Phil supposed to be laughing right now?

                Dan scooted closer and placed a hand on Phil’s knee, making him freeze.

                “Phil, I want to kiss you.”

                Phil managed a slight nod because again, he could never say no to Dan. Dan looked nervous as he leaned in. He was never nervous. Or if he was Phil could never tell but right now the other boy was scared, maybe as scared as Phil was. He had never been this close to Dan’s face before. He was suddenly noticing how dark and beautiful his eyes were, all the fear that really was there, how soft his lips looked. The older boy remained motionless until Dan’s lips met his in the most delicate manner and he couldn’t help but close his eyes. Dan separates their lips just enough that now they rest against each other. They stay connected for several long seconds, moving slowly and unsurely.

                Phil finally pulled away to look at him. “That was…nice.” Phil’s breath shudders, wanting desperately to reconnect but afraid to initiate anything.

                Dan nodded. “It was.”

                A long pause. “Why did you do it?”

                Dan broke their eye connect and leaned away to look at the mostly empty park before them.

                “I needed to know.” He shrugged.

                Phil pushed. “Needed to know what?”

                Dan looked back at him. “If I thought of you as more than a friend or if I was going crazy.”

                “And?” Phil’s heart pounded in anticipation of the response. He had felt something in that kiss, something he had repressed for a long time now.

                Dan smiled. “And, well,” he abruptly shot forward, kissing Phil harshly on the mouth before yanking away and walking down the path. Phil’s face burned and he took off after his friend.

“Well hold on a second!” He called after him.

                They didn’t say anything the whole way back to the orphanage. Phil was still in shock and couldn’t understand how Dan was acting so natural. What had all this meant? Could he expect sporadic kissing from Dan now? Was Phil supposed to make the next move. Was Dan just being Dan and really it meant nothing and they should continue as if everything was normal? Phil decided that until Dan said or did something that that’s what he’d do. Everything would be fine, nothing had changed.

 

For several days Phil thought exactly that. Everything went back to normal. There was no more kissing and Dan said nothing so neither did Phil. He came over in the afternoon and Dan convinced him to go out again. They got bubble tea and did some people watching for a while. Phil thought about where he could get a job and debated asking Dan but knew it would only start an argument.

                “Can I see that bear?”

                “Huh?” Dan looked at him, clearly he had also been in his own world.

                “The bear I gave you that you defended with your life. I’m just curious if I still remember it the same.”

                Dan smiled as he chewed on his drinks straw. “Sure. We’ll head back after we stroll some more.”

                For hours the two walked the streets of London. As usual Phil started getting nervous as the sun set. Dan noticed and rolled his eyes.

                “We’re fine. Do you need to hold my hand?” He held out his hand to his friend. Phil looked at him in surprise only to see the boy grinning. He dropped his hand after only a few seconds. “I’m kidding. Calm yourself. Kind of, I mean, if you _want_ to hold my hand I wouldn’t object.”

                Again, Phil was confused. He kept a straight face and searched Dan’s expression for some kind of sign that he was joking or not. “Stop looking so serious.” Dan bumped his shoulder against him and snatched Phil’s hand into his own. He swung their arms a little as he walked. Phil squeezed his fingers around Dan’s and swallowed. Could Dan feel how awkward he felt? Probably. He knew him too well. He tried to relax, let his shoulders drop and gut loosen. Just as he was starting to get used to it Dan dropped his hand to point into a shop window at some piece of clothing he liked. He didn’t pick Phil’s hand back up and Phil was left feeling a little empty.

                When they walked through the front door of the orphanage Rose glared at them. Phil’s gaze immediately dropped to the ground in guilt but Dan strolled right up to the desk and folded his arms on the counter arrogantly.

                “Hello Ms. Rose. How are you this evening?”

                “Daniel,” she sighed, “what were you doing outside of the house? You know you’re not supposed to leave without permission.”

                “Yes, but you see, I knew that it would be perfectly fine to simply go out and get some bubble tea with my friend here so I didn’t want to waste anyone’s precious time with such silly requests. I’m back safe and sound, I haven’t stolen anything or impregnated anyone so no harm done. I will now return to my sleeping quarters.” He swiveled on his feet and went through the door, grabbing Phil’s hand along the way to drag him behind.

                “Sorry Rose, I really am!” Phil called behind him before the door closed.

                They quickly made their way through the maze of hallways to Dan’s sleeping quarters where nine other boys also slept. The second they walked in the door Conner greeted them.

                “Finally decided to show up did you?” Conner was sitting up in his bed and stood at seeing Dan. “Aww, holding hands with your boyfriend I see.” He tilted his head as if looking at a cute puppy. Dan continued past Conner to his own bed in the corner but loosened his grip on Phil’s hand to grasp his arm instead. “You don’t have to hide it. I always knew you were a fag.” Several others in the room made surprised gasps while others chuckled.

                Dan swung around to face the boy who still had a bandage over his face. He looked ridiculous and really was in no position to make insults. “Oh shut up Conner. You’re just jealous that it’s me Phil’s fucked and not you.” He yanked Phil to him and kissed him on the mouth hard.

                Phil yanked himself away. “Dan!” He exclaimed. Dan let him go and Phil stumbled back a few steps.

                Conner’s jaw dropped and then he got a hold of his shock and his face switched to anger.

                “What? Oh I’m sorry, don’t want to see two guys making out in front of you? Well then you all better stay out of the room tonight cause we plan on making plenty of-”

                “ _Dan!_ ” Phil shouted, his arms tight against his sides and his hands in fists. The other boy finally looked at him. His care free expression made Phil mad. What did he think he was doing? Why was he saying all those things? What game was he playing? Phil turned and quickly walked out the door to the room. He stormed down the hallway and down the stairs. He got all the way to the giant play room he had first met Phil when he heard the boy running after him.

                “Phil wait!”

                He stopped, waiting until Dan caught up and stood in front of him. He didn’t look up.

                “Phil what’s wrong?”

                “What do you mean what’s wrong? What were you trying to do back there? Why would you say those things to Conner?”

                “Phil come on.” He threw his hands in the air. “I just…I just wanted to see his reaction. He’s such a jerk and I just had to wipe that stupid smile off his face and then when he called me a fag…”

                “You wanted to see his _reaction_?” Dan’s answer was more infuriating than what he had actually done.

                “I had no idea it would upset you this much! It was just a joke, it was funny.” Dan ducked his head, trying to get Phil to look at him again.

                “It wasn’t funny to me.”

                Dan let there be silence for a while. He really hadn’t meant anything by what he did. He just wanted to rile up Conner, and it worked. He didn’t understand Phil’s anger. “Phil?” He said quietly. When his friend didn’t look up he gently lifted his chin, forcing eye contact. Phil didn’t look angry anymore, just sad. Dan sighed. “Please tell me why what I did hurt you?”

                Phil was embarrassed that Dan had seen through his anger to the hurt. He didn’t want to explain this weird emotion to Dan who wasn’t exactly an emotional person. Would he understand? Phil thought maybe his friend would just laugh and then hug him and walk away. But he also saw the desire to know what he had done in his dark brown eyes. He really did feel bad, he just didn’t know why.

                Phil softly pushed Dan’s hand away. “I don’t want to be someone you kiss just because you want to get a reaction out of your enemies or because you’re feeling reckless and suddenly alive.” He was referring to the other night the first time they kissed. Phil was now wondering why Dad had done that in the first place. “If you kiss me it better be because you want to.”

                Dan didn’t respond for a while. He sucked in his lips and nodded slowly.

                “I see.” He said quietly. “And maybe back there it was just because I wanted to make Conner angry but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it. I don’t want you to think I kissed you that first time just because. I did it for a reason and not because I was feeling _reckless._ ”

                Phil thought that Dan was going to continue. He needed more of an explanation. He wanted Dan to tell him why he had kissed him. Why was it so difficult? If Dan was suddenly, after nine years of friendship suddenly having feelings for Phil then why wouldn’t he just say it?! Was he scared? He couldn’t possibly think that after all this time Phil would just up and leave him if he did express something like that. Heck Phil was starting to wonder if maybe he too had feelings for his long time best friend. There was nothing else that explained the fuzzy, longing feeling he was starting to feel anytime he thought of Dan. But Dan didn’t say anything else.

                Phil nodded, feeling disappointed and thoroughly confused. Not having anything else to say he walked past Dan toward the door leading to the waiting room.

                “Phil, wait.”

                Phil turned, hand still on the knob.

                Dan knew Phil wasn’t satisfied with what he had told him. But Dan didn’t really have words to explain. He himself didn’t really understand why he had kissed his friend that night. He thought maybe his actions would say more than his words so when he reached Phil he placed a hand on his chest, gripped his shirt and pushed him against the door. Phil made a _umph_ sound when his back hit the door.

                Dan connected their lips violently. Phil didn’t kiss him back at first and he felt panic flutter in his stomach. He continued to kiss him even when Phil tried pushing him away without much fervent. He was just about to give up when Phil’s lips moved hesitantly along with his. He didn’t let Dan keep up the forceful and fast movements however. Instead he took over the kiss and slowed it down dramatically. He deepened it though after a while, pushing his tongue into Dan’s mouth. Dan moaned when he felt teeth on his lower lip. He gripped onto Phil’s arm and breathed desperately through his nose, only pulling away when he thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen.

                They kept a hold on each other’s arms, gripping so as not to let the other go if he tried to pull away. Phil stared at him for a long moment. It looked as if he was going to say something. Dan wanted to move in again but Phil’s hand soon dropped and he opened the door, looking back at him one more time before walking through the threshold of the door.

                “Good night Dan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I'll gladly take nice spoken criticism. Do you guys think it's moving too fast? Should I include more details? I wasn't sure how long I wanted this fic to be...


	3. Chapter 3

Dan didn’t see Phil for an entire week. For the last nine years, Phil had shown up at the orphanage just about every day and when he couldn’t he would call and let Rose know, who would then let Dan know. But for the entire week Dan heard nothing. The first day he didn’t think anything of it. The second day he was confused. By the third day he knew something was wrong.

                If he was being honest with himself he’d noticed something was off with Phil after the incident with Conner. And then again when Dan had quite aggressively kissed him against the door. He had thought the action would express to Phil why Dan had kissed him the first time in the park. Wasn’t it obvious? But no, he knew it wasn’t. Dan wasn’t good with words and feelings and telling people what he meant. Heck even after all this time the person that knew him the best still looked at him as he were a mystery sometimes.

                Dan slumped against his tree and sighed. He had a book on his lap but he hadn’t opened it. He couldn’t concentrate. He had to clear things up. He had to know what Phil was thinking.

 

Phil knew his silent treatment was unfair. He knew Dan was probably concerned, worried, paranoid, and even scared. Phil didn’t need to be old by Dan what he meant to the younger boy. He was all Dan had and Phil knew that. The few times they had fought no apologies were necessary. They simply acted as if nothing had happened the next day. Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest thing but it worked for them. That was just it, Phil understood him. Dan valued his friendship with Phil more than anything and if he lost it, it’d destroy him.

                By Phil staying away from the orphanage he was being more than just unfair, it was cruel. Still, he couldn’t make himself go. He was too baffled and uncertain. He was confused about how Dan felt but also about how he felt. He couldn’t sleep. Every second of the day he was trying to sort out his feelings. Was it even possible that he had deeper feelings for his lifelong friend? Was his brain just blurring his emotions and thoughts? Was he imagining all of this? Phil had never really been certain of his sexuality. He liked girls but then there were also some boys he was attracted to. He’d never really had an opportunity to test it out though. He had spent so much of his teen years with Dan that he didn’t have any other relationships he could compare theirs to.

                Phil put a hand over his face and groaned. He pulled the covers over his head and huffed.

                He startled when he heard a soft knock at his door. “What the?” He tossed the covers off his body and curiously opened his bedroom door. It was just past midnight. His parents and Sarah were asleep so who would possibly be here?

                “Dan? What the heck? How did you-”

                Dan pushed his way past him and leaped onto the bed, bouncing a few times as he sat there. Phil closed the door and faced the boy. He could barely see him in the darkness.

                “You guys really should lock your front door. This is London you know.” Dan grinned.

                Phil rubbed his eyes and shook his head incredulously. “Dan, you are going to be in so much trouble if the orphanage finds out you’re here.”

                Dan ignored the statement and they sat in silence for a long moment. Then he said, just below a whisper, “you disappeared.”

                It was then that Phil could hear the fear in his friend’s tone and realized what distress his absence had caused him. “Dan I’m sorry.” He walked over to stand before him. Dan looked up.

                “I scared you away. You weren’t going to come back” He said it matter of fact.

                “How could you think that? Of course I was coming back.” He said kindly.

                Dan searched his face. “What did I do wrong?”

                Phil shook his head and exhaled. “Nothing Dan, you did nothing wrong.”

                “Bullshit. I can handle it Phil. Just tell me, please.” Dan pleaded with his eyes and for a second Phil could see the scared little boy he first met at the orphanage. He took a seat beside him.            

                “I’m serious when I tell you that you did nothing wrong. I just had to do some thinking, some soul searching. I’ve been confused…that’s all.” Phil used a affectionate tone. He could feel how vulnerable Dan felt and he was afraid to break him.

                “Confused about what? The kiss?” Dan questioned. Phil gave a slight nod. “If it’s because you’re not sure if you like guys I can totally understand. I just know that over the years you’ve made some comments and I thought…well maybe I should have waited until you said something about that for sure. I should never have presumed-”

                “Shush.” Phil grabbed Dan’s wrist to quiet him. “It’s not that. I like girls but I like guys too. I’ve known that for a while. That’s not what I was confused about.”

                Dan visibly relaxed. “What then?”

                “I wanted to be sure I felt something towards you that was more than friendship. I wanted to make sure you felt more too. Dan, you never talk about how your feelings. I still don’t know if you kissed me that night because you were desperately horny and I was there, if you were just being reckless, or if you really wanted to. I like our relationship and I don’t want it to turn into something complicated.”

                “Oh.” Dan sounded defeated. He pulled his arm away and set it in his own lap, looking down at his hands.

                “Do you understand?” Phil stooped so that his friend was forced to see him.

                “You’re just not sure how you feel about me anymore?” He sounded like a little kid.

                “Yes, but I’m also not sure how you feel about me.”

                Dan looked up at him, sucking on his bottom lip. “I guess I’m not completely sure either.” Phil’s heart sunk at his words. He had hoping Dan had an answer for him. “I kissed you that night because I wanted to, I know that for sure.” He paused for a while. Phil gave him the time he needed. This was more personal talk than Phil had heard from him in a long time and he didn’t want to ruin it. “How about…we just keep things the way they are for now. Just let things happen. And open communication. If nothing happens then nothing happens and if it does, so be it.”

                “So no more of you trying to eat my face?”

                Dan blushed. “Sorry. I don’t know how to be…tactful I guess.”

                Phil laughed. “It’s alright but next time, I’d really like a gentle kiss.”

                Dan’s heart jumped in his chest at the thought of kissing Phil again. “One-hundred-year-old turtle slow.” He promised.

                “Alright then.” Phil held out his arms and Dan quickly pulled him into a tight hug. Phil squeezed back earnestly.

                “Phil?” Dan said into his shoulder.

                “Yeah?”

                “Can…I sleep here tonight?” He was hesitant to ask. His heart pounded anxiously. After the conversation they had just had he wasn’t sure what Phil wanted to happen. He was probably moving too fast already.

                “Of course you can sleep here. I won’t even make you sleep on the floor.”

                “What if I wake up with a boner?” Dan grinned teasingly.

                “Then I’ll shove you off the bed.” They laughed. “Come on then.”

                They crawled under the covers, back to back. Phil fell asleep content and satisfied for the first time in a week. He was happy with how things had gone. Dan on the other hand had only compromised for Phil’s benefit. He could tell his friend wanted to wait until his feelings were sorted out. He understood. The problem was, Dan knew what he was feeling. He knew he wanted to be more than friends with Phil. Now he was going to have to restrain himself. _I can wait for Phil_ , he told himself as he started drifting into sleep. _I can wait forever_ …

                The next morning Phil awoke to the strange feeling of arms around his waist. The feeling was nice and snuggled against the warm body behind him, pushing against their chest. The arms tightened around him and the person sighed. His eyes snapped open and he tensed when he remembered who it was. He recalled his and Dan’s conversation. _It’s fine, it’s all fine._ Phil reminded himself that if he was okay with this then there was nothing wrong with letting it happen. They were just going slow. Cuddling was nothing. His relaxed into the body again and slept for a while longer.

                When Dan and Phil crept downstairs in the late morning for breakfast Kathrine and Greg looked at each other and then back at their son and his friend.

                “Well, hello there Dan. Didn’t know you had come over. Must have been pretty late when you showed up.” Kathrine questioned. It wasn’t a strange thing exactly to have Dan spend the night but it was rare. The orphanage didn’t let him leave overnight often and Kathrine and her husband had always gotten a phone call ahead of time that Dan had requested to stay the night. There seemed to be something different about the two this morning as well…There was a kind of energy in between them she didn’t recognize.

                “Yeah it was.” Dan sad, rubbing at his eyes and stretching. His shoulder bumped Phil’s and he realized how close they were standing. He tried to subtly step away.

                “Won’t Rose and them get pretty mad knowing you left without permission?”

                “Um…possibly…” Dan often felt like even though this family had decided not to adopt him, they still treated him like one of their children. Kathrine was one of the only adults that could make him feel guilty about doing something wrong.

                “You should be heading back there alright? I’ll call ahead to let them know your fine and were with us.” Kathrine told him.

                “Yeah, alright.” He nodded guiltily.

                “After some breakfast though.” She smiled and put a plate of blueberry pancakes smothered in syrup in front of him.

 

They did not go back to the orphanage after breakfast. Instead they got dressed and went to investigate the endless streets of London as usual. They ate pizza for lunch and watched a movie at the cheap theatre at Dan’s insistence. Throughout the day Dan tried to make himself aware of his body at all times. He didn’t want to make Phil feel awkward or pressured. He didn’t feel as brave as he had a week ago when he had grabbed Phil’s hand. He wanted more than anything to do that now though. He had this intense longing to just _touch_ him.

                Phil knew why Dan was acting weird. He saw when Dan would quickly pull himself away if he was standing close to Phil or how he tucked his hands in his pockets or crossed them at his chest. Phil smiled at all of this. Dan always had such control of his mind and body. It was funny to see him lose it a little, and all because of Phil. Phil decided to let him suffer. They had agreed to go slow and that’s exactly what he was going to do.

                At the end of the day however, when even Dan admitted he should return to the orphanage, Phil rewarded Dan with a big hug. Dan practically melted into the touch. Since they were little that had always hugged goodbye but this was different. Dan _needed_ this. When he let go Dan still held him and Phil laughed, wrapping his arms around him again.

                “What’s up with you? You’re not exactly the touchy-feely type.”

                “I don’t know.  Just really wanted that.” Dan sighed contently and released his hold. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, worried that Phil would disappear again.

                “I’ll be here.” Phil promised.

 

For a couple of weeks their friendship stayed at this level. There was a different air between them for sure. Dan changed immensely. Phil had watched his friend grow up. He had seen him shed his once innocent, fearful demeanor. He had turned into this fearless, determined, and often times irritable ball of energy. Over the last couple of weeks though the gentleness returned to him. He didn’t give smart alack remarks to the staff. He ignored the other children’s constant taunts.

                It was late at night, the lights were already off and Phil was currently sitting on Dan’s bed, holding the teddy bear he had given him all those years ago. He smiled down at it.

                “It’s smaller than I remember.”

                “Well you have grown a little.” Dan retorted. Phil handed the teddy bear back and Dan stuffed in a box under his bed where he kept it safe. The two collapsed on the small twin bed side by side. Their arms were forced to overlap and Dan’s skin tingled where Phil’s touched his. “Phil…” He said cautiously and quietly beside him.

                “Yeah?”

                “Can you please sleep here tonight?” Dan swallowed nervously. When Phil turned to him and smiled, nodded, his nerves dissipated.

                “I would like that.”

                Phil had never slept here at the orphanage. First off, the bed was small and the floor was hardwood. Second, he was pretty sure it was not allowed.

                “I know the bed’s kind of small but if we lay like this,” Dan shifted onto his side to face Phil, “I think we’d be fine.”

                Phil brushed Dan’s hair from out of his face and stared into his eyes for a long time. He could see so much fear there. Fear and want. What did he want though? Did he want Phil to touch him? Perhaps like…this? He took the other boys hand in his. Dan didn’t hesitate in holding it back tightly in return. They didn’t look away from each other. Phil let his other hand wonder up Dan’s arm, delicately stroking it. He could feel his friend stop breathing.

                After a minute he took his hand back and got under the covers properly. Dan did the same, turning his back to Phil. He made sure to keep a small gap in between them. Only, when he was just starting to fall asleep an arm slung around his midsection and pulled him close. He willingly submitted, folding himself into the warmth. He sighed peacefully and enjoyed the feeling of Phil’s breath on his upper back.

 

Phil jerked awake abruptly the next morning when his phone rang loudly somewhere on the floor. Dan groaned and shifted a little. Everyone else in the room made annoyed grumbles as well.

                “You have got to be kidding me dude.” One of kids whined and covered his face with his pillow.

                Phil answered the phone as quickly as he could, making plenty of noise in the process. “Hello?” He voice was still raspy with sleep.

                “Phillip! Where the hell have you been?! You never came home last night!” His father screamed into the phone and Phil flinched.

                “I’m sorry dad. I just didn’t think to tell you guys. I slept over at the orphanage tonight.”

                “With Dan?

                “Yeah, of course with Dan.”

                There was a stressed sigh on the other side of the line. “Alright. Well come home tonight okay?”

                “I will. Bye.”

                He threw the phone to the end of the bed and let his head drop to the pillow.

                “Good morning.” Dan smiled at him. Phil turned to look at him.

                “Morning.” He lifted his hand to swipe his fingers through Dan’s hair. It felt natural so he allowed it. “How’d you sleep?”

                “I’m a little sore to be honest.” 

                Phil chuckled. “Me too. Next time, we’re staying at my house.”

                “Deal.”

                “Dan, do you know what today is?” Phil grinned.

                Dan furrowed his eye brows. “Sunday?”

                “Well yeah silly but that’s not it.” Phil sat up sat up, sitting crisscrossed on the bed. He leaned down and gave Dan a small, ghostly kiss on the lips. When he pulled away Dan looked star struck. “Happy seventeenth birthday. I do have a present for you but its back at my house. We’ll have to pick it up later.”

                Dan felt his cheeks burn with a hot blush. He hoped it wasn’t as visible with his tanned skin. “Um, right. Okay.” If the blush didn’t give away his flustered brain his stumbling speech surely did.

                “That’s not all though.”

                Dan sat up cross legged like Phil. “What do you mean?”

                “I want to take you shopping today.”

Dan scrunched his eyebrows. “Why? I have clothes. Don’t do that.”

“Yes well…” Phil stuck his fingers through a hole in Dan’s shirt, poking his stomach.

“Hey!” Dan suppressed a giggle and covered his stomach. Several in the room shushed them. 

“You need clothes.”

“Alright. Maybe so but _Phil._ ” He whined.

“If you’re worried about the money just give it up already. This is part of my birthday gift to you so you have no right to reject it.” Phil said proudly. “Now let’s go get breakfast.”

Dan complained about the money Phil was going to be spending on him that day up until he spotted a black leather jacket in a shop window he was pretty certain he’d kill for. Phil saw the look on his face and drug Dan into the store by his sleeve. Phil found the jacket and shoved it in Dan’s hands. “Try it on.”

                Dan hesitantly slid his arms through the sleeves. Once he had it on and zipped he looked into the mirror and smiled. “Okay, okay I really like this.” He admitted, looking at himself from different angles.

                Phil woof whistled. “Me too. Now keep looking.”

                A couple hours and a few stores later Dan proudly carried several shopping bags worth of clothes. They went back to the orphanage and laughed and talked while putting away Dan’s new clothes. Before folding each piece the younger boy looked at it proudly which in turn made Phil swell with happiness. Once everything was put away Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck and embraced him tightly. Phil gladly reciprocated it by squeezing him back.

                “Thank you so much. What would I do without you?”

                They held onto to each other for much longer than they usually did. Dan seemed to be getting more emotional by the day. Phil laughed out loud at this.

                “What?” Dan pulled back.

                “Oh, nothing. You just seem to be turning to a big mush. All emotional and touchy.”

                “Shut up.” Dan blushed, which was another new thing for him.

                “It’s not a bad thing. It reminds me of when we were little. You used to be so scared of everything. I was always afraid of hurting you. Then you turned into some crazy rebellious badass. I missed this side of you.” Phil stroked the boy cheek with his thumb. Dan stared at him with his big brown curious eyes, looking uncertain again. “Now change into your new clothes so we can continue your birthday. And grab overnight stuff. You’re staying at my house tonight.”

                “Oh really?” Dan said challengingly and smirked. “And what if I don’t want to?”

                Phil walked up to him, putting their noses centimeters’ from each other and looked him dead in the eye. “Oh, but you do Daniel.” He whispered hoarsely. Dan gulped. Was Phil teasing him? It felt was more like he was trying to seduce him. And it was working. His skin sizzled and he wanted so desperately to close the distance. Phil stepped back before the thought could go further though and Dan was left feeling slightly turned on and very unsatisfied. When Phil walked away he was able to breathe again and get a hold of himself.

                “So where are we going now?”

                “Sushi dinner and then my house for your final gift.” Phil said over his shoulder.

                “Your buying me breakfast _and_ dinner? Aren’t I spoiled.” Dan gathered what he would need into a backpack and trotted after Phil.

                “Unless you’re desperately craving my mom’s meatloaf.” Phil snickered.

                “Yeah I think I’ll pass on that one. Don’t feel like vomiting on my birthday.”

 

“Hi Dan! Happy birthday! Nice to see you!” Katherine shouted the second Dan and Phil walked through the front door.

                “Thanks Katherine.” Dan smiled at her. “Hey Sarah.” He waved at the pre-teen blond leaning over some papers at the dinner table.

                “Oh hey.” She said flatly, not looking up from whatever she was doing.

                “There are cupcakes in the fringe I made for you.” Katherine said eagerly.

                “Thanks mom we’ll eat them later. For now we’ll just be in my room okay?” Phil hooked his arm through Dan’s and pulled him up the stairs.  

                “Thanks!” Dan called after her.

                Phil shut his door and huffed. Dan laughed. “They can be so annoying. I wish I could just walk into my house without being noticed sometimes.”

                “They’re just being nice. Except for Sarah that is.”

                “Yeah well, you know, she’s thirteen so everything’s going to suck for her for a while.” Phil rolled his eyes. He swore Sarah was getting bitchier by the second. What would she be like by the time she was fifteen and sixteen? It wouldn’t matter. By then Phil would be out of the house in his own apartment with Dan. He said so out loud too.

                “Do you really think that?” Dan said hopefully.

                “Of course. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

                “And you want to be living…with me?”

                Phil looked at him in surprise. “More than anything.” Dan nodded. Awkward silence passed for a few seconds.

                “Can I have my present now?”

                “Sure.” Phil smiled and reached under his bed for a square package wrapped in silver. “I know I said I had gotten you something kind of expensive but that was a lie. I hope you still like it. It’s taken me nine years to make.” He set he present on Dan’s lap.

                “Peasant. Now I’ll hate you forever.” Dan joked in his best royalty accent. “Don’t worry, there’s nothing you could have gotten me that I wouldn’t like.”

                “Open it then.” He gestured toward the square, anxious to see Dan’s reaction.

                Dan took a relaxed breath, savoring this moment. Every gift Phil had ever given him had been thoughtful and perfect and he seemed to be especially excited to give Dan this gift. Dan stuck his thumb in the edge of the wrapping and peeled it all the way around. What he saw was not what he had expected.

                It was a book with a soft brown velvety material on the cover. A photo book. On the front was the last picture Dan remembered taking with Phil. It was taken just a couple weeks before their first kiss in the park. Phil had made reservations at the London Skybar. Dan had never heard of it and if he had known, there’s no way he would have let Phil buy him a meal there. “ _I am not eating anything here!”_ Dan had insisted several times. “ _Yes you are because I have been saving up some money for this exact night and you’re not going to ruin it with your frugalness. Besides I’m not doing this for you I’m doing this because I’ve always wanted to go here and you’re my only friend so who else was I going to invite?” “Wow thanks. I feel so honored.”_ Dan had rolled his eyes and finally ordered. The picture on the front of the photo book was of Phil’s arm around Dan’s shoulder, their far too expensive meal before them and the London city lights sparkling in the background. Dan had tried to look irritated in the picture. His arms were crossed and he looked off to the side but a smile had still crept through whereas Phil beamed delightfully, his gaze focused on Dan.

                Dan smiled at the memory and looked up. “It’s perfect.”

                “You haven’t even opened it yet.” Phil chuckled.

                Dan flipped through the pages slowly. A lot of the pictures he hadn’t even been aware were taken. Most he didn’t remember simply because photos, memories, had never meant much to him. He had never been sentimental. How could he be? His life had really only ever consisted of Phil and Phil’s family. That was just it though. This book was full of moments he would have otherwise forgotten and marked as unimportant. Each picture was bringing back memories. There was one of himself at about ten years old sitting in Phil’s old house at a table. He was staring eagerly at a giant cake placed before him. Katherine was standing behind smiling gleefully. Many of the pictures were of him and Phil as children that Katherine and Greg must have taken. He liked those the most. There was another picture of him a little older, perhaps fourteen, sitting cross legged on his bed at the orphanage. There were Christmas lights on the head board and he held a rectangular box wrapped in sparkly gold paper. Phil was on his knees behind looking over his shoulder excitedly.

                “This is when you gave me the Nintendo DS.”

                “Yeah, it is.” Phil sat down beside him to look. “And this is when we went to that amusement park and you got sick on Maltesers.”

                “Oh gosh, that’s right. I didn’t even know you had all of these…” Dan flipped to the next page where there was a picture of himself sitting under his tree reading. The leaves were freshly green and budding and it was clear Dan had no idea the picture was being taken or that Phil was even standing there.

                “My mom took most of the ones around the holidays and your birthdays               .”

“I never would have thought…I just…this is perfect Phil.” Dan looked up to meet Phil’s eyes. “I’ve never had anything like this. For all these years, I just couldn’t wait to get out of this place so I could forget everything, recreate myself. Looking at these pictures though, I don’t want to forget any of it. Thank you.”

                Phil leaned over and hugged Dan who reciprocated immediately. After several moments, Phil pulled back but kept a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “I have one last thing for you.”

                Dan closed his eyes and shook head. “No more.”

                “ _One_ more.” Phil stood and pulled his friend to his feet. “But we’ll have to go back out for this one.”

 

“We’re going up in that?” Dan said uncertainly. He was staring up at the London Eye uneasily. Phil chuckled and put a hand on his back, pushing him forward. “It looks a lot bigger from here.”

                “Wait till you get up top.”

                “Not helping.”

                “It’s fine. Here.” Phil held out his hand. Dan gawked at it. Then he looked at Phil as if to ask, a _re you sure?_ Phil nodded and so Dan took it.

                Together they walked into one of the massive pods, heading to the corner opposite of a small group of people.

                While they waited, all Dan could think about was Phil’s hand in his. Just this simply touch was causing butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to envelope himself in Phil’s touch. He closed his eyes and remembered the curve of Phil’s body around his when they slept in his bed that night. He felt so safe and comfortable with his arm around his waist and his breath on his spine.

                When he opened his eyes, Phil was watching him. He wasn’t embarrassed when Dan caught him staring, especially when the other boy also didn’t look away. They might have never looked away if the pod hadn’t sluggishly started moving upwards. The people behind them were murmuring excitedly to each other.

                Dan gripped Phil’s hand tighter the higher they went. Neither of them said anything. They seemed to be intertwined in the same web of thoughts all the same. The pod stopped again, causing Dan to startle. Dizziness swept over him and Phil chuckled when the boy bumped into him, immediately apologizing and stepping away.

                “Don’t.” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s arm and pulling him close again. He didn’t look down at his friend but he felt his eyes on him.

                “Alright.” Dan said quietly and held himself firmly against the other’s arm not at all minding the closeness. If anything, he wanted to be closer. _Slow Dan, remember. We’re taking this turtle slow._ He turned his attention out the capsule and watched the brilliant London lights. The city seemed so peaceful from up here. He was used to all the traffic sounds and general noise. He didn’t realize the world could be so quiet. He reveled in it. This was another moment he wanted to remember. He didn’t want to ruin the sereneness of it by taking a picture though. He focused on the brilliance outside, the sedated feeling in his mind and heart, the nearness of Phil. He felt light and free as a feather.

Phil watched Dan as the boy gazed out at the glass. He seemed to be in an entirely different universe and so Phil was free to observe him. He watched his friend’s eyes scan the city calmly, and saw when a muscle twitched in his jaw. He felt the tiniest flutter in Dan’s fingers. Something had changed in the way he was seeing his friend. It’s what he had been waiting for. He was confident about the feeling now. Phil felt a glow, a kind of burn glide through him. It sizzled in the nerves at his fingertips, buzzed in his stomach and reached all the way to the tips of his toes. Just as he was trying to build up the guts to say something about all these sensations Dan called his name.

                “Phil?”

                Phil looked at him. “Yeah?”

                Dan tucked in his bottom lip, hesitating. “I would really like to kiss you right now.” His heart pounded, preparing itself for rejection, for Phil to say he wasn’t ready.

                “Please do.” His voice came out in whispered plea.

                Dan let out a breath he had been holding and leaned forward. Phil met him half way without wavering. Their lips met in a slow needy kiss. Phil brought his arm around Dan’s waist and pulled him flush with his body. It was exactly what Dan had been wanting and he placed a hand on Phil’s shoulder. He pushed forward with his whole body; wanting, needing more. He clung onto Phil, a desperate groan coming from his throat. The sound fueled Phil and he pushed his tongue passed Dan’s lips. But Dan had been ready for this longer than he had. He was begging for more, his nails digging into Phil’s shoulder.

Finally Phil had to pull away. He looked into Dan’s eyes and saw how much his friend had been wanting that.

“Why do I feel like you’ve been wanting that for longer than I thought?” Phil asked him.

“Because I’ve known how I felt about you since the night we decided to take things slow.” Dan admitted. He was a little worried as to how Phil would respond.

“So you only agreed to go slow so that I could figure things for myself?” Phil didn’t sound angry. He just sounded surprised. Dan nodded. Phil smiled and shook his head. He wrapped Dan in an embrace. “Thank you.” He whispered in his ear. “I love you.” He said the words without doubt. He knew they were true. They had been true for years but now they had a deeper meaning. He _loved_ Dan.

Dan squeezed him tighter. “I love you too. I really do.”

Phil broke away. They were words he never thought he’d hear from Dan’s mouth even if he always knew they had to be true. Dan’s eyes flickered to his lips again and the older boy smiled. “Why do I also feel like if there weren’t people standing nearby you’d rip my clothes off right here?”

Dan grinned shamelessly. “Because I most definitely would.”

 

That night at Phil’s the two slept as close as physically possible. Dan back nestled against Phil’s chest and Phil had an arm and leg draped over the boy, holding him in gentle captivity. Several times before they fell asleep Dan leaned his head back, silently asking for another kiss in which Phil happily obliged.

The following afternoon Dan and Phil were still under the covers talking, laughing, and yes, kissing. There was a knock on the bedroom door and they both startled.

                “Y-yeah?” Phil called nervously. His and Dan’s feelings with each other were still so knew. He didn’t feel like explaining them to anyone. He especially didn’t want one of his family members just walking into them sleeping in the same bed. Dan clutched at the sheets and peeked anxiously at Phil.

                “Don’t tell me you’re still sleeping Philip!”

                Phil groaned. “ _Mother._ ”

                “You need to be out there getting a job! Not sleeping in till one PM!”

                “I am awake actually.” Phil mumbled.

                “I feel like I should hide under the bed or something.” Dan whispered.

                “Nah.” He replied. Then his mother’s footsteps retreated down the hall. “She’s kind of right though. I need to be looking for a job.” He rubbed groggily at his face and looked over to see Dan’s face still half covered by the duvet. “I would much rather stay here though…” Phil grinned and sunk back under the blankets, wrapping a hand around Dan and pulling him in. Dan made a surprised sound and then laughed.

                “You know, I was thinking,” Dan said as Phil caressed his arm, “can you imagine if your parents would have adopted me?”

                “What are getting at?” Phil muttered into his shoulder.

                “Well you definitely wouldn’t be lying here with me under the covers mostly naked and I wouldn’t be thinking about how much I want you to kiss every part of my body.”

                Phil made an unimpressed noise. “Yes I too am _very_ glad you’re not my brother but let’s not ruin the mood. That was too close to happening you know.”

                “Ok, yeah let’s not think about that.”

                Phil roughly threw the blankets off himself. “Alright we should get up before my mom really does burst into the room with a bucket of water.”

                While Phil was getting dressed Dan watched with a smirk while sitting knees bent on the bed with only jeans on. The other boy was unaware of his gawking and went about ruffling through a drawer for a shirt. “You know, I’ve seen you undressed a million times in the last nine years but it’s a lot different now.”

                Phil snorted. “Oh yeah?”

                “Mmm-hm.”

                “Okay that was just uncomfortable.” But he smiled anyway. “I’m not exactly used to you staring at me.”

                “Would you like me to stop?” Dan offered but his voice was teasing.

                “I guess not.” Phil felt his face heat up a bit and was glad he had his back turned. The fearless, confidant Dan he hadn’t seen in several weeks was suddenly returning. The Dan that made him feel both reckless and a little apprehensive because he never knew what he was planning next.

                After getting dressed Phil snuck Dan downstairs and out the front door without anyone noticing. He didn’t think today was a good day to talk to his parents about their new-found relationship. Besides, it was kind of fun to be secretive.

                “We should go back to the orphanage. Let everyone see your still alive.”

                “Oh yes, you the responsible one.” Dan rolled his eyes but knew it was also true. He held the photo book Phil had made under his arm as they walked in the direction of the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up...I promise there is going to be smut in this I just needed to set it up ya know? Speaking of which I suck at smut so I have discovered a lovely amazing writer to help me out with it! Expect some of their writing soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's needy and their relationship finally moves to the next level in intimacy

Dan slept at Phil’s every night for a week before Phil’s mom started really noticing something had changed. One afternoon in one of the rare moments that Dan was not connected at the hip to her son she decided it was time to ask questions.

                “Phil, honey, can I talk to you?”

                Her son looked up from his computer. “Um, yeah. Sure.” He said nervously and pushed his black fringe out of his face. She sat down beside him on the couch and he set the computer aside, folding his hands neatly in his lap. “I think I know what you’re going to say, but go ahead anyway.” He breathed out.

                “Okay…” She said curiously. “You’re father and I have that noticed something seems different between you and Dan. If I’m wrong, please correct me. I don’t want to assume anything but I also don’t you to be afraid to tell me anything.”

                “I’m not afraid to tell you. I’m honestly not. I’ve just been waiting because it’s still so knew even to us. Do you understand?”

                “I do.” She nodded. “So I was right to assume that the two of you are more than friends?” Phil bit his lip and nodded, staring at his lap again. He seemed to be holding back on saying something. He suddenly smiled and looked up at his mother, tears in his eyes.

                “Mom, I really, really love him. I’ve never felt this way about someone. It’s still strange to me because we were friends for so long and I never would have imagined it would become more until a few months ago when things just started…changing.”

                Katherine smiled. She spoke kindly and kept her voice low. “I am so happy to see you get to experience this. I’m also very happy that it’s with Dan. He has always been special to you. Your father and I could see that since the first day we saw you together. For a long time, we felt guilty about not adopting him. We had never, and have never seen you connect to anyone else the way you did with Dan and I am just so incredibly grateful that you two have been close friends all these years. I know that it’s probably strange for things to have changed between you guys but always remember that before you had romantic feelings for each other, you were best friends. Don’t let anything ruin that.”

                “I’ve thought about that a lot. Dan…well he kissed me a couple months ago for the first time.” Phil felt his face burn at telling his mother about this but he wanted her to know. “After that, we talked. I wasn’t sure at the time what my feelings were for him or if I wanted them to go deeper so we decided to take things slow. And then last week something just…clicked. I don’t know how to explain it but I just knew what I was feeling and what I wanted to feel. Is this making any sense?”

                His mother laughed a little and put her hand on his shoulder. “Everyone that’s ever been in love has experienced everything you are. I’m very, very happy for you. I hope you always feel comfortable to talk to me about this kind of stuff.”

 

“So you told her?” Dan asked the following day on their way to a movie.

                “Yup.”

                “And…?” Dan pushed, nudging Phil’s shoulder.

                “She was ecstatic actually. So was my dad.”

                Dan smiled and skipped for a few steps. “That’s fantastic!”

                “Yes it is.” Phil blissfully pulled Dan closer to him and kissed him on the forehead. 

                “So does that mean we don’t have to act all weird around your family now?”

                “Yeah.” Phil gave a little laugh. “Sorry it took so long for me to tell them. It was my mom that approached me actually. I wish I could’ve been the done to do it.” He said guiltily.

                “Don’t worry about it.” Dan burst ahead a few steps to walk in front of Phil but backwards so that he faced him. He was smiling gleefully. “Does it look like I care? I’m just happy Phil. I don’t feel like Frankenstein’s creature anymore. The miserable wretch is gone and replaced by some weightless thing. A bird!” Dan’s eyes widened. “I feel like a bird.” Phil pulled him back to a normal walk before he ran into a telephone pull but the boy didn’t seem to even notice.

                “A bird.” Phil muttered under his breath. He nodded. “I feel like a bird too I guess.” Dan smiled at him and snaked his fingers with Phil’s.

 

In the theater, the movie was quickly forgotten about. They had been holding hands and sitting there contently or no more than fifteen minutes. Then Dan had leaned over the arm rest and looked blatantly at Phil’s eyes, and then his lips, grinning deviously. Phil rolled his eyes and kissed him once, returning his attention to the movie. A few seconds later he did it again, and then again. On the third time when Phil tried to pull away Dan bit his lip, holding him in place. Phil’s eyes widened and he jolted in surprise. Dan chuckled and pulled his prisoner closer by the shirt, forcing him into another kiss. He deepened it immediately, not giving Phil a chance to react. It only took a couple of moments for him to give in. His friend, no, boyfriend, was apparently desperate for his attention and he couldn’t say he minded.

                They made out slowly and deeply for what seemed like an eternity. Phil’s lips started getting sore. Just when he was going to pull away and give them both a minute to rest Dan clambered half way onto his lap, setting one of his legs in between Phil’s. Phil gasped when cold fingers splayed across his stomach under his shirt. Dan’s other hand snaked up his neck to his hair, tugging a handful.

                “Dan?” Phil mumbled questioningly in between a kiss. Dan moaned into his mouth as a response. The older boy closed his eyes in bliss as Dan’s hands roamed under his clothes, exploring in quick, urgent movements.

                “I want more.” Dan muttered, grinding his crotch against Phil’s knee.

                Phil moved his lips to Dan’s jaw, grazing his lips along the bone and listening appreciatively to the boys ragged breathing which became more and more desperate the further down his neck Phil went.

                “Phil, please.”

                Phil laughed lightly. “Not here Dan, not now. Okay?” He forced himself to pull back. It wasn’t that Phil didn’t want to do things with Dan, that was for certain. He just didn’t want the first time for him to get Dan off to be in a movie theater. Maybe it was silly but he wanted it to be more special and planned. He hated to admit it but he also wanted to be the one so surprise Dan for once, not the other way around. Dan dropped his forehead onto Phil’s shoulder, whining displeasingly. Phil chuckled. “Come on now.” He nudged at the other boy with his shoulder. Dan flopped himself over onto the chair and folded his arms in a pretend tantrum, even puckering out his lip.  

                “Your pathetic.” He kissed Dan’s cheek and entwined their fingers.

               

It turned out Phil could start making those plans to surprise Dan sooner than he thought. At dinner his parents announced that the following weekend they were going to celebrate their anniversary by going on a six day cruise that his father had surprised his mother with this morning. Then Sarah had announced that she definitely didn’t want to just stay at the house while they went and had fun so she was going to be spending those days at a friend’s house.

                “Are you going to be bored here by yourself Phil?” His father asked.

Phil was only half listening now. All he could think about was how he wanted to use that time with Dan, alone, in his house, for six days. “No uh, no I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll use that time to try and find a job.”

                “That would fantastic.” His mother nodded elatedly in approval.

                “Have you thought about what you want to do?” Greg asked.

                “What? Do what?” Had Phil missed something?

                “For university. You could get a job or go to university. I know you’ve talked about doing video editing or something like that. What was it called?”

                “Oh right. Post-Production and Visual Effects.”

                “Yeah that’s it. I think you should seriously be considering that.” His father said seriously. Phil then realized he should be listening to this conversation more intently. It pulled Phil out of his persistent fantasies.

                “Your right. I have been kind of avoiding thinking about it. It’s nerve racking thinking about going to uni.”

                “I understand. It was for me too. It paid off in the end though. Besides, it really was fun. You would have to move away from here but it has to happen at some point.”

                Move away from his parents. Yes, he knew that. He’s always known that of course and he really was interested in post-production but it also meant leaving his home, his city. In meant leaving Dan. No. He couldn’t do that. There was no way. Especially now that they were more than friends. He had more than a duty to always be there for him and take care of him, there was more involved now. How else was going to afford an apartment for the two of them though? Working at a grocery store? Dan would probably be working soon too but still. He needed to do _something._ The sudden stress made his brain hurt. He didn’t want to think about this right now.

                “I’ll think about it. I want to check out a few different options.”

                “Good. Glad to hear it.”

               

“You mean to tell me that your parents are going to be gone for a week?”

                “Yup.”

                “And your sister is going to a friend’s house for that whole time?”

                “Yup.”

                “And you’re asking if I want to stay with you, just you, for that week? Us two, alone in a house, for a week?”

                Phil grinned. “Yup.”

                Dan feigned boredom and looked away, shrugging his shoulders. “Yeah I guess that’d be fine. I mean what else would I be doing? It’ll probably be boring, lonely, I would have to miss Connors leaving party and we’ll have to make our own food.”

                “I don’t think it’ll be boring.” Phil said suggestively and scooted closer to Dan. They were sitting under Dan’s tree eating sandwiches.

                “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Dan smirked.

                Phil placed a finger on the boy’s chin and gently turned his head, forcing him to look him in the eye. His other hand brushed lightly up and down his arm. “I’m sure we’ll think of _something_.”

                “I don’t think I understand what you’re getting at, sorry.”

                “You’ll see.” Phil brought his lips centimeters from Dan’s. Just when the other boy started leaning forward to connect them Phil pulled back.

                “Hey!” Dan complained. Phil loved teasing him. Dan was usually so rough and unexpected with his motions that Phil often believed he deserved everything he got in return.

 

The week seemed to pass by at a snail’s pace. Dan tried several times to get Phil riled up enough to just do _something_. He made suggestive comments and playful touches. Whenever Phil undressed in front of him he complimented him in his most seductive tone. Phil would only shake his head and chuckle. He seemed to have endless self-control. It left Dan frustrated and desperate. Was Phil just not ready to take their relationship to a more physical level? He always did stop time before it got too far. Dan started worrying that he was taking things too fast again. Was his boyfriend just too nice to say anything? He had known Phil his entire life and yet now it was as if he were getting to know a different person. He wasn’t as confident about the things he thought he knew anymore. He decided to slow his advances. Phil would tell him when he was ready. Dan was sure of that. Even if Dan himself was ready right now, this second, he recognized his friend’s ability to be patient and waiting. He had always been that way too. Afraid of making the wrong decision or saying the wrong thing. He thought long and hard before he acted. Now Dan just had to do that same.

 

“Okay, not that following you around and standing outside of stores while you go in to drop off a resume isn’t fun, but can we please do something else?” Dan said as he jogged to catch up to Phil who had just exited yet another building.

                “You didn’t have to come you know. You’re the one that was complaining about being bored.”

                “Touché’. Can you at least buy me an ice cream?”

                Phil smiled. “Are you my boyfriend or five-year-old son?”

                Dan gasped overdramatically. “I am actually offended right now.”

                “Mmmm, how about if you say please I’ll _even_ get you a double scoop.”

                “Never.”

                “Fine. Kiss me and that’ll be enough payment.” Phil negotiated.

                “ _That_ I can do.”

               

“Don’t you think you should sleep at the orphanage tonight?” Phil suggested when they got back to his house later that day. He was lying on the living room couch. His fingers ran lightly through Dan’s hair. The boy was using Phil’s hip as a pillow and nearly asleep. He forced his eyes lids open at Phil’s question.

                “Just cause Rose got her panties in a twist this morning doesn’t mean I’m going start sleeping there again. You spoil me too much here.”

                “I better stop doing that then. You could get in some big trouble.”

                “Nah. I have less than a year, remember? Everyone stops obeying rules in their last year.” Dan was mumbling. He wasn’t even sure if he could be understood in his groggy state. Phil’s hand in his hair was making him so very sleepy. He sighed contently.

                Someone walked down the stairs and Dan felt Phil tense beneath him. He wasn’t necessarily embarrassed about his and Dan’s relationship but it still felt a little strange in front of people that were used to them just being friends.

                Sarah sighed exasperatedly when she saw her brother. “Hi Sarah.” Dan muttered without opening his eyes. Phil’s hands paused, resting on his scalp and tickling his forehead.

                “Hello again Daniel.” She said sarcastically. “With how much time you spend over here you should just move in you know. Wait, never mind because that would mean seeing you two cuddling all the time.”

                “Yeah your right I should just move in.” Dan smiled and prodded against Phil’s hand, asking him to continue. Phil’s hand moved instead to caress his forearm which turned out to be just as enjoyable.

                “You guys aren’t even watching the movie. I’m changing the channel.”

                “Go ahead.” Phil told her. She was right, they hadn’t been watching the TV at all. Dan was sleeping and Phil was trying to come up with some solution to his university problems.

                “Just don’t start making out or something.” Sarah said, changing the channel to some singing competition show.

                “No worries there. I think Dan’s ready for bed anyway.” Phil chuckled. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” Dan groaned, his limbs felt too relaxed to want to move but they complied anyway when he got to his feet.

                Sometime during the night Dan awoke. He wasn’t sure what had wakened him but he could tell that Phil was awake. “Phil?” He called quietly in the darkness. “Are you awake?”

                “Yeah. Sorry did I wake you?”

                They were sleeping back to back so Dan flipped over, snuggling closer to the other boy’s warm body. “No. Why are awake? Is everything okay?” Dan had noticed that for the last couple of days something had been on Phil’s mind he just couldn’t tell what and Phil hadn’t said anything.        

                “Just thinking is all.” Phil also turned over, smiling when he saw the concern on Dan’s face. He stroked the boy’s cheek and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep. Everything is fine.”

                “You’ve been acting weird lately. Something’s not fine. We agreed on open communication remember?”

                “The open communication was meant for our feelings toward each other.”

                “Well,” Dan thought, “I’m deciding right now that it applies to everything else too.”

                Phil sighed. “Fine. I’m just thinking about university and how if I go I’ll have to leave everything, including you. And that’s not happening so now I’m trying to think of some other solution that doesn’t end with us both living under a bridge.”

                “That’s pretty intense stuff. First off though, your parents would never let you live under a bridge. They love you too much. Second, if you did go I’d follow you. I don’t know where I could stay but we can figure that out later.” Dan had every intent on following Phil wherever he went for the rest of time. Even before their relationship had changed he had thought about moving up to where Phil would be in uni. Phil was all he had ever had. Without him he wasn’t sure what he would do. After nine years of seeing him almost every day he didn’t think he could go weeks, months, without being with him. And now that they had gotten so much closer it was an impossibility. It wouldn’t just be difficult. It would shatter him.

                “You would move down there with me?” Phil hadn’t thought of that possibility.

                “Of course. Even if I did have to live in a box and shower in a sink. Actually…I had been planning on doing that anyway.”

                “You mean to tell me that this whole time, I’ve been thinking about how I would hardly get to see you and you’ve just been planning on going down there with me anyway?”

                “Yeah I guess so. Oops.”

                Phil wrapped Dan in an embrace despite the awkward position. “Gosh I love you. There wasn’t much thought behind your plan as usual but I still love you for it. It does give me more to think about though. Thank you. For now, I think I’d just like to sleep though.”

 

“The grocery money is on the table and make sure you lock the door at night. Your father and I have our cell phones on, call anytime.”

                “Mom it’s going to be fine. I’m eighteen years old.” Phil tried to ease his mother’s anxiousness.

                “Katherine lets go. I want to get there before noon.” His father called from the porch.

                “Oh alright. Be safe. See you guys soon.” Katherine gave him one last hug before jogging quickly over to the rental car to avoid the rain that had been pummeling form the sky all morning.

                Phil waved until the car was pulling away and then he slammed the front door closed and turned around. His little sister was standing there arms crossed and eye brow raised. “Dan’s going to be here all week isn’t he?”

                “Yup. He should be here any minute. Now get out.”

                “Calm down. You’ll have the house to yourselves soon enough. Kates mom is on the way to pick me up.”

                The front door opened and Phil worried that maybe his parents had forgotten something but no, it was Dan. He was soaked from head to toe and carrying a duffel bag. His hair was plastered to his scalp and his clothes looked wet enough to wring out.

                “I really hate London sometimes.”

                “Wow, yeah you should go change.” Phil chuckled. Dan was already trotting up the stairs. “And put on some pajamas because I don’t know about you but I don’t plan on leaving the house for at least three days.” He yelled after him.

                “Sounds perfect!” Dan called back.

                “Don’t you need to get food or something?” Sarah asked.

                “That’s what Dominoes is for.”

                Sarah’s phone pinged. “Kates here. See ya, love birds.” Then she was out the door with her backpack and Phil skipped up to his bedroom. He paused in the door way. Dan finished putting on a dry shirt and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his sopping shoes when Phil tackled him to the bed.

                Dan shrieked and thrashed as Phil placed kisses everywhere on his face. “What are you doing?! Get off!” But he was giggling the whole time.

                Phil stopped his kissing and rested on his elbows above Dan. “We have the entire house to ourselves for six days. This is going to be the best week of my life.”

                “I even told the staff that I’d be gone so we don’t have to worry about not following the ‘rules’.”

                “Even better. Your all mine for the entire week.” Phil kissed Dan sloppily which was very unlike him. Dan gasped in surprise and then gratefully accepted the affection. At this point he was accepting anything Phil gave him.  

                The first thing they did was order pizza and find a new show to binge watch through the week. They turned all the lights off in the house, shut all the blinds, and crawled under a pile of blankets on Phil’s bed in front of the laptop. The rain drummed against the window behind them, making the atmosphere even more cozy.

                Dan’s head rested on Phil’s chest and Phil’s arm across his midsection. Phil was intently watching the show they’d chosen. Dan tried to focus on the show, he really did. But he was also transfixed by the feeling of Phil’s heart softly beating against his ear, the rise and fall of his stomach with each breath, the way his whole body shook when he laughed at a funny moment. Phil was also mindlessly stroking the skin just under Dan’s shirt. The touches were feather light and barely there but it was slowly making Dan go crazy. The fingers would reach his waistline and then slowly wade back up his ribs.

He felt so deprived and had been so desperate the last couple of weeks for him and Phil to go further in their relationship and the way Phil was touching him right now was making him hornier by the second. He was okay with Phil’s moving slower but if he didn’t stop what he was doing right now Dan wasn’t sure if he could keep himself from pouncing. He subtly placed his own hand on top of Phil’s and squeezed, holding it still. Phil looked down at him questioningly.

                “Does it tickle or something?” He asked, grinning knowingly. He was not naïve to his boyfriend’s desires. Phil had wanted to wait a couple of days into their time alone before initiating his plan but Dan was clearly aroused and it was spurring something in Phil that he’d purposely kept dormant or some time now.

                “N-no. Just a little sensitive I guess.”

                “Oh really?” Phil continued the motions despite Dan’s hand there. Just to see what the reaction would be he teasingly went lower, just ever so slightly under the edge of the stretchy pajama material.

                “Phil...” Dan said warningly and clutched the hand tighter. He gasped unexpectedly when a hand ghosted under his shirt on the other side.

“It’s ok, Dan. I’ve got you.” Phil murmured, running his hand slowly over Dan’s warm chest. His fingers brushed over Dan’s nipple experimentally and the younger boy let out a tiny whimper as he arched into the touch.

“I thought you wanted to go slow?” Dan gasped, embarrassingly worked up from the light touches.

“I do, and we have been. I just want to make you feel good.” Phil replied, adding, “would that be okay?” 

Dan nodded hurriedly and shyly confided, “God yes that’d be okay. I want to make you feel good too.”

Phil’s hands resumed their gentle movements across Dan’s stomach and chest and he smiled. “I thought so.” He let his fingers move out from under Dan’s shirt to his waistband again, rubbing tenderly just under the elastic before going a bit lower to brush his hip, teasingly avoiding Dan’s cock. Phil then pulled both of his hands away and turned to lay on his side next to Dan, gesturing for him to do the same. Dan obeyed and Phil cupped his jaw before leaning in to connect their lips, keeping it innocent for a few seconds and then deepening their kiss, guiding Dan’s hand to his waist. 

                When they pulled back Dan’s eyes were half lidded and his cheeks were flushed, sending a jolt of fondness and arousal through Phil’s stomach. “You look so good like this.” Phil commented, half hard but in no hurry to rush their time together. He had waited this long, he could wait a few more minutes.

Dan huffed out a shocked laugh. “You mean an absolute mess?” His hand on Phil’s waist tightening.

The older boy smiled, “Even more so since you’re a mess because I know it’s me causing it. Can we take this off?” He asked, tugging at Dan’s t-shirt. 

Dan nodded and sat up a bit, pulling his shirt over his head quickly as Phil did the same. They laid back down and Phil rubbed over Dan’s side, he’d seen Dan shirtless more times than he could count but it was different now, like he was just realizing how beautiful his friend had been all along. Dan was looking cravingly at his lips but seemed hesitant. Phil knew it was in an effort to let him take things at his own pace and his heart swelled at how much he loved Dan, and how much Dan loved him, and how they always had, in some way. 

                Phil pushed Dan onto his back and leaned over him, pecking his lips before moving to kiss over his jaw to his neck, sucking little red marks into the soft skin under the boy’s ears. “Phil…” Dan whined, tilting his head to the side to give his boyfriend better access, “That feels so good.” He mumbled.  

                “Yeah? Do you want more?” Phil asked in between kisses, running his hands down Dan’s chest.

“Yes, _please.”_  Dan stammered, his hips bucking slightly at the thought. The hand on his chest traveled down his body quickly and Dan gasped loudly when suddenly Phil was cupping him through his sleep pants, squeezing gently and rubbing over the sensitive head.

“Like that?” Phil teased, knowing Dan wanted more contact. Dan moaned and shook his head ever so slightly, grinding forward into Phil’s hand and begging.

“I’ve wanted this for so long. Phil, please, touch me.” 

                Phil laughed softly and acquiesced, pulling Dan’s pajamas and pants down to his thighs, coming back up to grip Dan’s cock and lightly stroke him. Dan whimpered and gripped Phil’s shoulder, letting out a stream of almost unintelligible swears and cry of Phil’s name. Running his thumb over the tip of Dan’s length, Phil watched the boy’s face as he touched him, loving the overwhelmed look of pleasure he saw there. 

                “God, Dan… You’re so hot.” Phil muttered, marveling at the way Dan bit his lip as his cock started leaking precum. He gripped Dan a bit tighter now that his dick was a little slick and Dan let out a choked moan, thrusting his hips into the sensation.

“Unh.. Phil? Think I‘m going come soon…” Dan warned, feeling more than a little embarrassed at how quickly his climax was approaching. He wanted to enjoy this for longer but his body was spent. He’d wanted this for long enough that he wasn’t going to wait anymore.

Phil nodded an acknowledgement and kept up his movements on Dan’s cock, leaning to kiss him. Dan was almost too overwhelmed to kiss back and Phil groaned at the way he whined into the kiss, his own cock aching in his pants. A few more strokes of Phil’s hand had Dan coming loudly, shaking in Phil’s arms and whining. Phil stroked Dan until he was weakly pushing his hand away, too sensitive.

“Oh god…Thank you. You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting that with you.” Dan panted as Phil wiped his hand off and flopped back down.

“Really, Dan, there’s no need to thank me for that.” Phil chuckled, unbelievably turned on. 

                Dan blushed and glanced shyly down at the outline of Phil’s cock before meeting his gaze, and mumbling, “I want to suck you… But I- I’ve never done that before, I might not be good at it.”

Phil almost moaned at the thought and shook his head. “Impossible. But are you sure? You don’t have too.”

                Dan nodded, reassuring him. “I want to.” He tugged up his own pants before pulling Phil’s pajamas off, and knelt between his legs, glancing up for permission. Phil nodded and lifted his hips as Dan uncovered his cock. He shut his eyes, knowing the sight of Dan between his legs looking up at him like that would have him coming in no time. The first tentative swipe of Dan’s tongue came as a surprise and he gasped at the feeling, forcing himself to keep his hips still as Dan gently took the head of his cock into his mouth. 

After a few seconds of suction, Dan pulled off, asking nervously, “Is that ok?”

Phil made eye contact with him and nodded quickly, wanting the attention back on his cock. “God, yes. You’re doing great Dan.” The boy leaned back down, taking him into his mouth again and bringing his hand up to stroke at the part his mouth couldn’t reach. “Oh my god Dan..” Phil groaned, tangling his hand into his boyfriend’s wavy hair, not apply pressure, just gripping gently. 

Dan kept his gaze on Phil’s face, gaging his reaction to various touches and repeating the action he seemed to like the best. He moved his hand up and down on his length, circling his tongue around the head of Phil’s cock, smiling around his mouthful when Phil groaned and struggled to keep from thrusting up. At seeing Phil’s responses Dan gained confidence. He sank down as low as could without gagging and Phil’s hand tightened in his hair as he swore, “Holy shit…” Bobbing his head and fisting over Phil’s cock, Dan moaned in approval when Phil’s strained voice came, “I’m close Dan.”

                Dan knew he meant that as a warning so Dan could pull back if he wanted, and he considered not moving before deciding he wasn’t quite ready for that. He pulled back, stroking quickly over Phil’s slick cock. Not worried about hurting Dan anymore, Phil thrust up into his grip, his hips stuttering as he grunted and came messily over Dan’s hand and his own stomach. Dan crawled up to kiss him as he came down from his orgasm. Phil regulated his breathing and sat up. He looked down at the mess on his stomach and grabbed tissue from his night stand to clean up.

“I don’t know why you were worried about not being good at that.” Phil said, grinning at Dan and pulling his pajamas back up. 

“I’ve never done anything like that before.” Dan rested his head on Phil’s chest again.

“Me neither.”

Dan looked up at him. “Really? I thought you had a girlfriend a couple of years ago.”

“Well, yeah, but it didn’t last long. Not even a couple weeks. And we never did anything sexual.” Phil held Dan close, not ever wanting to let go.

“Oh. You were so confidant though.”

“Like I said, I just wanted to make you feel good and I love you and so I did what came natural.” He tilted Dan’s head to kiss him lingeringly on the lips. The other boy sighed happily. “I had planned on waiting a couple days for us to do anything but you were so needy.” He laughed.

“Hey now, be nice. You would be too if you were me. You’re a constant tease and I’m seventeen. No further explanation needed.” They laid there for a long time in silence. They simply enjoyed the company of the other. In a way, it felt like it used to before they were friends. When they used to just sit beside each other either under the tree at the orphanage, in a park in London, at a café or in Phil’s living room and read or do homework. There was more intimacy in their comfortable silence than anything physical.

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Dan just felt like saying the words.

“I love you too.” Phil breathed out, shifting his body a little just to feel Dan in the places he was touching him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I want to say thanks to http://livingvicariouslythroughphan.tumblr.com as the writer of the smut in this chapter because it wouldn't be there without them. Literally, I can't write any kind of smut but I felt a need for it in this story at this chapter to show the growth of the characters. Please check out livingvicariouslythroughphan's other writings as they are really good! Thank you as always for reading


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning is rough and I apologize and hope you can look through it. Had a tough time getting started on this chapter for whatever reason. Some smut towards the end from our lovely writer on tumblr. Please check out her writing! http://livingvicariouslythroughphan.tumblr.com/ Expect ultimate fluffiness at the end!

After three days of constant teasing, eating junk food, wearing pajamas or sometimes nothing at all, and only leaving the couch to go to the bathroom, Phil made an executive decision to get them both out of the house.

                Dan was laying on the bed on his stomach when his boyfriend threw a pair of jeans at his face. “Um, ouch.” He complained and didn’t remove the clothing from his over his eyes.

                “We need to get out of this house.”

                “But we were just outside a few days ago.” He whined, finally sitting up.

Phil chuckled, tossing a T-shirt at him too. “We are out of food anyway. If we stay here any longer we’re going to have to live on canned beans and pineapples.”

                “I’m sure we can think of something to do with that.” Phil tossed him a glare. “Okay, fine. But I think I need a little bit more motivation if you’re going to convince to get out of this bed.” He snuggled back down into the blanket and closed his eyes, feigning sleep. He hard Phil stomp across the room and held himself firmly to the bed thinking he was going to attempt dragging him off. He gasped when Phil abruptly connected their lips, forcefully sliding his tongue into Dan’s mouth and pushing his hips down so that the boy laid flat on his back. He held Dan down by the hips and kissed him urgently until Dan’s hands darted up his shirt, skimming his chest and arching his back, instinct taking over even if he didn’t understand why this happening all of a sudden.

Then Phil pulled away and stood up, hands on his hips. “Maybe if you’re a good boy I’ll give you more later.” He said in a deep dominating voice that left Dan’s body desperate for more. Dan laid there with his mouth agape, heart racing, and the beginnings of a hard on.

                “Get back here!” He demanded and leaped forward, clutching Phil’s shirt and trying to pull him back. Phil only chuckled deviously and swatted his hand away, walking out the door and leaving his horny boyfriend behind. “Shit.” He cursed to himself. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” He yelled.

                “Not yet you aren’t!” Phil called over his shoulder relentlessly.

                Dan shook his head, smiling as he quickly got dressed.

 

Phil took Dan out to breakfast and then they headed to the supermarket.

“I definitely need this chocolate bar.” Dan says as he throws it into the basket Phil’s carrying.

Phil shook his head.  “What ever happened to you not wanting me to spend all my money on you?”

“This is your parent’s money. That’s entirely different.”

“Okay but we can’t live off frozen pizza and chocolate bars.” Phil retorted, looking at the limited food selection in their basket.

“I disagree but fine. What else do you want?”

“I think we should make something Indian.”

“We can get Indian easy anywhere in London.” Dan swung a bored look at Phil as they walked up and down every aisle.

“Yeah but it’s more fun to make it.”

In the end, they still got more junk food than real food. Phil wanted to do something else productive with their day before going home but Dan’s complaining eventually wore him down and they went back home.

After throwing the grocery bags onto the counter Dan catapulted onto the couch. “Movie?” He suggested.

“Alright calm down. I’m going to put the food away and then I actually have to do something before relaxing again.”

Dan raised an eyebrow at him. “Why so secretive? What could you possibly have to do when I’m right here. In fact, I believe we made a deal before leaving the house this morning.” He gestured toward his body, making Phil laugh.

“Right, almost forgot.” He stalked forward and gave Dan a slow lingering kiss. “But,” He whispered when he pulled away, “I really have to do this.” He stood up straight sighed. “I promised my parents I’d find a job by the time they got back. But if that doesn’t happen then I believe I should at least make a decision about my future.”

“That’s deep stuff. It’s not exactly something you can just think about in a day and decide.”

“No, you’re right. But I want to do some research. See what my options are.”

Dan sighed. “I understand. I know it’s been tormenting you not knowing what exactly to do. I have decisions to make too but I can’t make them until you make yours. No pressure. You know I’m an expert at ignoring necessary things.”

Phil furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“Like I said before, I’m going where you’re going. If you stay here, then I’ll find a job as soon as I leave the orphanage so that we can rent a place together. Or if you decide to go to school I’ll start looking for a cheap place to stay with a few roommates or something and find a job there.”

Phil felt a wave of emotion flood through him. He pulled Dan to his feet and embraced him tightly. The boy laughed a little. “Thank you.” Phil said quietly over and over. “That means a lot and it’ll make it easier to make a decision because I won’t have to think about how far you’ll be from me. Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate and love you?”

“I think I’ve heard you say a couple of times. But I’m willing to hear it again.”

Phil pulled back just enough so he could kiss his boyfriend. “I. Love. You.” He said in between kisses. “And I’ll make good on our deal, I promise.”

“Oh, I wasn’t worried about that. I know how to get what I want.” He teased.

Phil pulled away and started to the kitchen, scoffing. “Yeah right. I have more self control than you ever will.”

 

While Dan stayed downstairs in order to not be a distraction, Phil went upstairs and sat on his bed with his lap top. He didn’t even know where to start. But he had to start somewhere. So, he looked up various schools in England and the things they offered. When he found one he liked he looked up apartments nearby that might be in his price range if both he and Dan could get jobs. It didn’t take long for him to realize that going to uni and working was nearly impossible. Even if it was possible that’s not how he wanted to spend his life. He’d always promised himself that he would work to live, not live to work.

                He sat back after a couple hours, frustrated and feeling hopeless. There was too much unknown. Dan peeked his head in a couple times to make sure he was alright or offer to make food but Phil would simply shake his head and try to think of another solution.

                How could he get some kind of education without going to school while being able to work and support him and Dan? Was such a thing even possible? Was he expecting too much? Maybe he would need to just attend the closest university to him, continue living with his parents, and…and then what about Dan? There was hardly space for the four of Phil’s family members in their apartment. It then occurred to him that Dan only had recently turned seventeen. He wouldn’t be leaving the orphanage for a while yet. There was still time. Maybe he could work full time until Dan turned eighteen, have money saved up for a place. That would give him a head start.

                That’s when an option that he had never considered occurred to him. He didn’t even know if it was an option but if it was…it could work. He searched for Post-Production Online schooling. He sat back and laughed to himself when several online schools with the degree he wanted popped up. _This is it_. He thought to himself. _I just know this is it!_

                A little while later he bounded down the stairs, startling Dan. “Dan, I know what to do.”

                Dan looked at him surprised for a moment. “O-okay, great, what is it?”

                “I can take Post Production online. I can get an online degree right here. We don’t have to go anywhere. If I spend three hours a day, five days a week I can get my degree in two years Dan! I will still have time to work and by the time you’re eighteen I think we can move out. I’ve seen several places in the city I grew up that I think we could afford. I don’t how long we want stay there but it’s a start!”

                “Oh my God that’s fantastic!” Dan leaped to his feet. “I could work while I’m still in the orphanage too. I’ll be able to save up until I turn eighteen. This could work Phil, it really could.”

                “It’s going to work Dan. We’re going to move out together and I won’t have to miss you because you’ll be right there.” Phil felt such a wave of relief that he couldn’t contain his excitement. He wanted for it to all happen right now. “I feel like I could fly I’m so happy.”

Dan smiled joyfully. “I’m so glad to see you like this. I didn’t realize how much stress you were under until just now seeing you without it.”

“Hey Dan.” Phil said lowly, stepping forward until he was just centimeters from Dan.

“Yesss?” Dan leaned back but didn’t move. Phil put a hand around his waist and pulled him closer, leaning into his neck and whispering.

“I think I know what I want to do with all this energy now.”

Dan swallowed. “Really?”

“Uh-huh. Actually, I’m quite sure.” He tilted the boys neck and breathed down his neck before kissing it tenderly a few times. He moved to Dan’s lips, kissing slow but roughly, even experimentally biting a little.

“Oh God, finally.” Dan moaned, bringing his fingers to the back of Phil’s neck and up through his hair.

“You’re so easy.” Phil chuckled against Dan’s jaw.

“And your just not very nice.”

Phil slid his hands under the back of Dan’s shirt and gently ran his nails down the smooth flesh as he kissed him again. He got more and more desperate with each slide of their lips, deepening the kiss and moving faster. Dan couldn’t help but moan and each time Phil’s fingernails slowly dragged down his spine he whined, pushing further against the older boy’s body. He gasped when the nails dug a little deeper and Phil bit his lip.

“You’re being a bit rough today.” He said as he closed his eyes and relished in all of the different sensations.

“I figured I’d give you a taste of your own medicine.” Phil sucked hard onto a spot on his neck and Dan made a choppy moan.

“Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with though. I don’t mind that your gentle at all. In fact, it kind of drives me crazy.” Dan reassured him.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not doing this just for you. I feel different today. I want to do this. I want to own you.” Phil was feeling a strange animalistic desire come over him and it came across in his tone.

Dan felt himself harden just at the words. “I want nothing more than for you to own every part of me.”

Phil grinned against his neck and pushed Dan back by the shoulders into a laying position on the sofa, climbing over him and straddling his hips. He leaned down and connected their lips, gasping lightly when Dan bucked up into him, his boyfriend was already almost completely hard and it made Phil smirk with the knowledge that he had caused it. Dan made a small desperate sounding noise, and when Phil pulled back from their kiss, he was blushing.

                Phil looked down at him, all flushed and desperate, and wondered briefly why he hadn’t done this sooner, before shifting his hips against Dan’s and grinding rhythmically against him. Dan was clutching his shoulder, urging him down, and moving back up against Phil. He bit his lip in a feeble attempt to stay quiet as Phil bit down mildly beneath his ear, but muffled moans still filtered through. He circled one of his hands to Phil’s front, dipping under his shirt and rubbing over his lower stomach, tantalizingly close to his hard cock. Phil let out a gruff moan and Dan’s length twitched in arousal, he’d never seen Phil like this before.                         

                “God- Dan, I want to go all the way, are you- are you ready?” Phil breathed, pinning Dan down by the shoulders and licking over a mark he’d made on the boy’s neck.

“Are you kidding me, I’ve been ready, Phil..” Dan assured, his words trailing off into a high pitched whine at the attention to his neck. He gripped frantically at the back of Phil’s head as he trailed kisses over his jaw, landing one gently on his lips before taking the pressure off of Dan’s shoulders and sitting back up slightly to tug his own shirt off before Dan leaned up, letting Phil pull his own over his head. Dan’s eyes fell shut as Phil kissed the middle of his chest, his hand coming up to pinch Dan’s nipple, drawing a whine from the younger boy.

                Just as Phil’s fingers moved downward to skim under Dan’s waistband, his eyes shot open in realization and Phil watched in confusion as Dan’s face fell. “What’s wrong Dan?” He asked, suddenly nervous.

“We don’t have any lube.” Dan stressed, looking disappointed.

Relief flooded his stomach and Phil laughed. “I might have snuck some in the basket at the store today while you were engrossed in figuring out what flavored cupcakes to have for dinner.”

Dan sighed dramatically in relief and responded. “Thank god, I thought I was going to have to wait another seventeen years.”

“Oh, shut up.” Phil snickered, cupping Dan’s jaw and silencing him with a rough kiss, biting teasingly at his bottom lip. 

                He moved his hand back to Dan’s waistband and popped open the button, unzipping his jeans and going under them to palm Dan’s cock, smirking into their kiss at the wet patch he found there. Phil teased Dan for a few moments before pulling back to tug his jeans off. “This ok?” He asked. Dan nodded fervently, lifting his hips to help them off before reaching out to fiddle with Phil’s belt loop, hoping Phil would take the hint and take them off. He did and moved back off Dan to pull them all the way off before kneeling between Dan’s spread legs and running his hands possessively over his inner thighs. 

Dan squirmed at the actions and moaned when Phil suddenly cupped his length, stoking him through the fabric. “Mmm, come on, Phil, please…I want you.” He pleaded, feeling like he had been worked up for far too long.

Phil laughed softly and nodded. “Alright, I have to stretch you first though, okay?” Dan hummed his agreement and Phil leaned over to grab his jeans from the floor, fishing out the lube from the pocket.

“You had that on you?” Dan chuckled and Phil turned slightly pink.

“I mean, yeah. I figured we’d be doing something. I made a promise didn’t I?” 

Dan grinned and nodded. “I’m glad.” He lifted his hips up and made suggestive eye contact, urging Phil to take his pants off. Rolling his eyes fondly, Phil tugged the boxer briefs down, tossing them onto the floor and nudging Dan’s legs further apart. He opened the bottle of lube and drizzled some over his fingers, glancing up at Dan.

“You ready?” He asked, rubbing soothingly over Dan’s stomach.

“God, yes…” Dan whined, biting his lip and trying to relax when the first finger began pushing in, Phil was gentle but it was still a weird feeling. 

Phil gave Dan a minute to adjust to the first finger before carefully adding a second, fisting lightly over Dan’s cock when he saw the boy wince. Dan bucked up into the hand around his length and Phil scissored his fingers, curling them upwards a bit and getting Dan used to the feeling. When Dan was pushing back onto his hand, he slid in a third, running his thumb over the head of Dan’s dick. “Oh- god- Phil, if you don’t stop I’m going to come.” Dan warned, gripping tightly at the cushion under him. 

                “Well we can’t have that.” Phil chuckled, moving his hand from Dan’s cock and gently pulling his fingers from the boy’s ass. Phil got up to pull his own pants off and then returned to his position between Dan’s legs. He poured more lube into his hand, slicking his length up and groaning a little at the pressure. “I want to make you feel so good, Dan. Are you ready?” Phil checked one more time.

Dan moaned and nodded. “Yeah, I want you to own me, Phil, please…hurry.”

“Mmm, don’t worry. I will but we have to start off slow.” Phil reassured, shuffling forward on his knees and lining his cock up with Dan’s entrance. 

He began to push forward slowly, entering Dan and gasping at the tightness of his warm body. Dan let out a choked gasp when he finally bottomed out, and he clutched Phil’s hand, wincing a bit at the burn of the stretch. Phil kissed him deeply, squeezing his hand reassuringly and rubbing his thumb across Dan’s flushed cheek, keeping  his hips still and giving Dan a chance to adjust to the feeling. He pulled back after a bit and asked, “Are you ok, love?”

Dan shifted his hips, the pain had subsided for the most part so he replied, “Yeah, you can move now.” 

Phil nodded and gripped Dan’s hip, pulling back a little ways before thrusting in, watching Dan’s face to make sure he was still okay. When he saw no sign of pain on the boy’s face he repeated the action a few times, aiming different ways until he heard Dan gasp out a breathy whine and moan,

“Right there, Phil… Please!”

He grinned in satisfaction and kept his thrusts at that angle. Dan was clawing over his back and shoulders, whimpering into his ear, and pushing his hips up into Phil’s movements, and the older boy loved it. 

                “Oh my god, can you touch me?” Dan mewled, rutting his leaking cock up and gasping when the head of it brushed lightly against Phil’s lower stomach.

“I’ve got you.” Phil muttered as he brought his hand to fist over Dan’s dick. A high pitched moan filled the silence as Dan writhed under the new sensation, overwhelmed by the fast pace of both Phil’s hands and his thrusts. “You like that, Dan?” Phil teased, grunting lowly when his words caused Dan to clench needy around his cock. 

                “Y-yes, god, Phil, I‘m close…” Dan answered, pulling Phil down to kiss him. Phil sped up his movements on Dan’s length, silently signaling to Dan that he could let go whenever he needed to. He sucked lightly on Dan’s tongue and reveled in the way the boy whimpered into the kiss. Dan’s squirming was becoming more frantic, and he grasped desperately at Phil’s shoulder as he came into his waiting hand, grinding back into Phil’s thrusts as he rode out his orgasm. 

Soon Dan was too sensitive and he pushed weakly at Phil’s hand on his cock, sighing in relief and when his boyfriend pulled his hand away and gently eased his length out of Dan. Phil groaned, now jerking off over the boy’s stomach, one hand on his cock and the other roving Dan’s body, running up his thigh to his side, watching as Dan jumped slightly as his fingers brushed over his nipple. If Dan hadn’t just came he would’ve been hard again watching Phil like this. He reached out from his sleepy position on the sofa and cupped Phil’s balls as he stroked over himself, letting out an involuntary moan as Phil stilled and came over his hand and Dan’s stomach and thighs. 

Phil’s arm trembled, tired of holding his weight. He pushed back, leaning against the sofa to catch his breath.

“Can we clean up? I would really like to just sit and cuddle with you for a while.” Dan suggested but still didn’t make any move to sit up. If he stayed here any longer he’d fall asleep.

“You don’t look in any condition to stand let alone wash yourself. Here.” Phil stood, gently taking Dan’s hand and pulling him to his feet. He picked up their clothes and kept a hand on the small of Dan’s back up the stairs where he threw the clothes into his room and guided them both to the bathroom.

“Oh, do I have the privilege of you joining me?” Dan looked at Phil flirtatiously over his shoulder.

Phil grabbed Dan’s shoulder’s from behind and kissed the top of his spine. “Like I said, you’re in no condition to wash yourself. Now get in.” He smacked his boyfriend’s ass, causing him to shriek in surprise.

“Bossy bossy.” Dan teased, stepping under the stream of warm water. Phil stepped in behind him, putting a hand on his hip and spinning him around so that they faced each other. As Dan soaked his hair he lathered the soap in his hands and began running them over the boy’s arm’s, chest, and stomach. He relished in the opportunity to touch Dan in such a nice, unsexual way. He thought about their time together during sex. Seeing Dan completely fall apart beneath him because he had wanted it, wanted the physical and emotional closeness that it brought.

Once Dan had been soaped up they switched positions, letting the water fall over Phil as he massaged shampoo in Dan’s hair slowly.

“That feels really nice.” The boy sighed.

“I wish I could just touch you forever.” Phil admitted, running his softly over Dan’s shoulder and down his chest just so he could feel him skin to skin again.

“Mmmm,” Dan moaned, “Maybe not forever but give me a little bit and I’m sure I’d up for you owning me again.” He shuffled his hips then and winced at the bit of pain in his rectum. “On second thought, maybe a day or two.”

“Was I too rough?” Phil worried, tilting Dan’s head back to wash the shampoo from his hair.

“No, no. You were amazing Phil. I couldn’t have asked for a better first time. I wish I could experience it again and again.” He said, a bit sad that it was over.

“We’ll have plenty of opportunities, don’t you worry. We still have a lot of first times waiting for us.”

Dan moaned at the thought. “You’re right. And I’ll try to have the same level of self control as you.”

“Nah, don’t do that. I like when you lose control.” He whispered into Dan’s ear, making him laugh and push him away.

“I’m ready to sleep, hurry up will you?”

“Look at that, already impatient.” Phil chuckled. “I have a challenge ahead of me, don’t I?”

One out of the shower Dan put on a pair of boxers and slid into Phil’s sheets. “Finally.” He mumbled, nestling into the older boy’s chest as soon as he got in too. He closed his eyes, already his mind drifting.

Phil smiled and placed a hand on the side of the Dan’s face, rubbing his thumb over the soft flesh. Dan’s eyes flickered open, finding Phil’s staring lovingly at him. “You have no idea how happy I am that I got to experience this with you.” He whispered.

Dan stared in amazement at his words for a few moments. He wanted to say something like that back. He felt it, but putting his feelings into words had always been so impossible for him. “Fuck Phil, how do you do that?”

“Do what?” Phil paused his thumbs movements and looked at him curiously.

“Just say things like that so easily?”

“I just say what I feel, that’s all. What are you feeling right now Dan?”

Dan tried to do as Phil said and just say what he felt, even if he couldn’t find the exact words. “Happy. I know that I’m happy.”

“And why are you happy?” Phil encouraged.

“Because I’m with you.” Dan blurted out before he knew what he was saying. Phil smiled and nodded, telling him to keep going. “It’s going to sound stupid.” He shoved his face into the pillow.

“No it won’t. Trust me, I’ll love whatever it is you say.” Phil grabbed the boy’s hands and held them in his own.

Dan laid his head back down, sighing nervously. Why was he nervous? This was Phil. Phil had always loved him and listened to him. He had nothing to worry about when it came to his best friend Phil. And that’s how he had to think about it. He reminded himself that Phil was still his best friend and always would be. How had he always felt when it came to Phil? That’s what he should say right now. “I’ve always known that…” He paused, trying to find the right words, “I’ve just always felt safe with you. Since the day you came to me at the orphanage the first time you wanted me. Just as a person in general you wanted to spend your life with me. You _picked_ me out of everyone there. From the moment I met you I was confused because I had never seen that look in someone’s eyes before but there it was right in front of me. I believed you too. I believed we’d be brothers and best friends for life just because you yourself believed it so strongly. And when you told me you would be back even though your parents had chosen someone else I believed you. I don’t know why. Nothing in my life gave me evidence that you would be true to your word. And all of a sudden you were back!” Dan felt tears pricking at his eyes thinking about the memory. “From that day forward you were always there, you always cared, and I always believed that as long as you were there everything would be okay because from the moment you came into my life everything had been okay.”

The tears leaked from his eyes even though he produced no sound. He wiped them away as if he had never seen tears before.

“Dan,” Phil said softly and felt himself wanting to cry along with him. He brought Dan closer, holding his head under his chin and stroking his hair as if he were a small broken child. “I’m glad you believed me and that I was able to always be there because I did always love you. From the first moment I saw you I loved you. I will always choose you.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did actually plan on continuing this story but to be honest when i wrote that last paragraph i just sat back and thought, this! this is how i want it to end! It was just perfect to me. Hope you all enjoyed and I will be posting another story in a few weeks that i've been working on i've entitled "The Slave Boy." It will be a longer fic for sure which much more of a story line than i have done as of yet. For updates follow my tumblr


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